


Our Eyes

by Isyadelee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Contacts, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heterochromia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Selfies, Slow Build, eren is an author, ophthalmologist!Levi, poor eren, traumatic past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:13:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1620419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isyadelee/pseuds/Isyadelee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After using all of his contacts, Eren freaks out. He arranges and appointment so get new contacts.</p><p>Eren thinks he is alone but his new ophthalmologist comes in and changes his life around. Maybe Eren is more special then he thinks he is. Or maybe Levi is just another person to come in and break Eren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! My first fic on AO3! This is based off a headcanon I wrote on tumblr 
> 
> attack-on-ereriren
> 
> Please, check me out ;) I do head canons and Ereri sims. As well as reblogging the creepiest things ever, as well as Ereri.
> 
> Please look after me.

Cold. I splash my face with cold water, enjoying the awareness it’s bringing back to me.

I look up and stare deeply into my eyes. My hands grip the sink, turning my knuckles white. I avert my eyes from the mirror and face back down to the sink. I remove my right hand from the basin and take something out of my right eye. I look back up.

_Why?_

Tears start to well past memories relay in my mind as fresh as ever.

“ _You’re a freak.”_

_“You’re disgusting.”_

_“Fix yourself Jaeger!”_

_“Get away from him. You might catch something”_

As quick as I look at myself, I look away, pulling open the medicine cabinet, averting the gaze of the mirror.

I rattle around and find my contact box. I open it.

My hearts starts to pound as I search the box harder and more frantically. They are gone. All gone. I look around the rest of the cabinet, throwing everything out of it, making a clattering mess.

After a thorough look through the cabinet. I close it with a slam, avoiding my image and staring down into the white ceramic bowl. I meddle with the taps and soon enough, I am splashing my face with cold water. _I hope I am dreaming. Dreaming? No, this is like a nightmare._

More icy water and many curses later. I give up. No, I am really all out.

A sudden negative feeling washes over me. But, it’s not anger, sadness nor annoyance. No, it’s fear. I feared for this situation and well… here I am.

I pull away from the sink and make my way back to my room, to my phone.

I pick it up and dial the number I have managed to remember off heart; I have had to contact there enough to do so.

“Good Evening. This is Recon Eye Centre. Petra speaking.” Spoke a cheerful voice on the other end. One I recognised to be Petra.

I took a deep breath and put on a fake smile, hoping it would somehow rub off in my voice. “Hey, Petra. It’s me, Eren. Could you book me in for the usual?”

The voice, Petra, on the other end seemed to instantly brighten up, if that is even possible. “Oh! Eren! How are you? Did you run out again? And, um… Yeah sure thing. Tomorrow morning sound okay?”

I have her a nod in confirmation, though she couldn’t see it. “Thanks Petra. See you tomorrow?”

“Mhm. I have a shift tomorrow morning. See you then.” She finalised, hanging up the phone.

Petra is such a lovely person. She understands. Actually, she is one of the few people that actually know about me. She also knows I hide it, so she books me in as soon as possible, when there are no people. Seeing her is the only positive of my visits there. That and the fact I get given the things I need to hide my eyes.

Hide. It’s all I can do. They say if I want them changed, there is a strong possibility of it going wrong and my going blind. _Perfect._ Why did I have to get stuck with this?

I set an alarm for the crack of dawn and crawl into bed.

I hoped that as soon as my head hit the pillow, I would sleep. I really didn’t want to be like a zombie at work tomorrow. Lady luck seemed to on my side for one thing. I think she was showing a bit of mercy; my vision was going black and my body felt weightless as I drifted into slumber.

_ERK. ERK. ERK. ERK._

I felt around for my phone, only to knock it off the bedside table, prolonging its shrieks. Reaching over the bed for the phone, my leg thought it would be a great idea to lift up. I fell out.

Wow, things are going so well this morning. I can just tell everything else will go right.

After finally silencing my alarm, I groggily make my way over to the bathroom where I turned on the shower. I quickly undressed and put my arm under the shower, waiting for it to warm up. But it didn’t. I messed around with the knobs and dials. But it was still cold. Great… Just fucking great.

I turned off the shower in favour of having a sponge bath and using dry shampoo (Blessed thee who invented that). I turned on the taps and put a plug into the sink. Thank god the hot water was working there. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t. Cry maybe. I grabbed my sponge from the shower and dipped it into the water. After a fair soaking I took it out and lathered some _Original Source_ (mint and tea tree flavour) onto it.

I took the time to carefully scrub the suds all over my body, enjoying my fresh smell of mint that danced in my senses. _Note to self… Buy so much more of this._

Washing turned into drying as I finished my sponge bathing. I flinched at my own reflection, remembering why I am up so early. As quick as I looked, I looked away and reached for the dry shampoo.

The loud sound of the nozzle made me jump as I sprayed it onto my hair. I placed the can down and massaged the coconut scented powder into my hair.

I didn’t style or brush it as messy hair suits me. To that I am glad.

Bathroom duties finished, I backed off into the bedroom and made my way over to my wardrobe. Where I pulled out some tight, black skinny jeans (which should be illegal; they make my ass pop) and a baggy teal jumper. Before leaving the house I grab my keys, wallet, phone and a pair of sunglasses.

As I get outside, the cool morning sun (thank god it’s sunny) nips at me. I make my way over to my dirty, red Volkswagen Polo. I unlock the car and get in, taking a moment to compose myself before putting the key in and igniting it. I put the car in reverse and back out of the driveway.

After a few minutes of driving in the, for once, empty streets of Shiganshina, I arrived at my destination. Once I found a spot, I parked up hastily and made my way to the building. The quicker this is, the quicker I can go home and the less chance there is of someone seeing me.

Once I get inside, I take my jacket off and fold it around my arm. I roll my shoulders and walk towards the appointment desk. I don’t take off my glasses, just in case there is anyone there. I slide my arms across the desk, flashing a genuine smile. Petra is such a lovely woman an someone would be lying, or a twat, if they thought otherwise. She was such a sweet woman. If I was straight I would definitely date her. “Hello my fair lady!” I beamed.

“Ah, Eren. How lovely it is to see you. How have you been doing?” She asked, her smile overpowering me tenfold.

I got a little choked up at the question. I mean, I did just have a break down last night. But, I decided to combat it with a lie. “Yeah, I’m fine”- and a subject change- “So… how’s the boyfriend?”

Petra’s smile stretched further. I didn’t even think it was possible. But, it clearly was. “Oh, Oluo is fine. We actually got engaged quite recently.” She flashed me the huge rock on her left hand.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t make me feel bad. I’m still as single as always. But, congratulations. When is the date?”

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think it is the 22nd of December. I’ll send out invites as soon as. Anyway, don’t undermine yourself, Eren. You could get anyone. You are a very handsome man. I’m sure the ladies- I mean men, take to you like a sloth to a tree.”

I blushed at her compliment and shook my head, with a smile. “Sadly not. What made you want to have it in winter?”

“Well, we both love winter, so a wedding in the snow would be a dream come true.”

My head nodded understandingly. Why not, right? I’d really love a wedding on a beach. Heh, I don’t know what I am saying. I probably will never get married. “Right, I’ll talk to you later, Hun. My appointment is the usual place, yeah?”

Petra gave me a nod. Her attitude seemed to change slightly at the mention of my appointment. The change was only slight, easily missed by the untrained eye. But, being a close friend to Petra, I noticed it. I decided not to question it and walked ahead to the waiting room, my nerves growing, without me quite realising.

Once I reached the waiting room, I sat in my usual place. An extremely comfy chair in the corner. From there I have a nice view of the few indoor plants and some _not-so-_ decorative paintings that littered the room haphazardly. From there I could see the two seats me and my mum always used to sit at. Where I used to laugh at my mum’s jokes, until my stomach hurt. Where I used to kick my short legs whilst beaming a smile that could rival the sun, at my mother. Oh how I miss her so.

My mother was an amazing woman. She was one of the only people to ever love my eyes, despite me loathing them. She begged me not to get contacts, but would never force me out of it. She always put me first. I wish she put herself first more. But I guess asking a mother to do that is like asking someone to stab themselves. It just doesn’t happen.

With the memories of my mother, fresh tears started to prickle in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I’ll have none of that, thank you very much.

A door opened and out walked a man. He seemed rather small, but you could see he was definitely packing under his shirt. The man wore a crisp, red, long-sleeved shirt. Over the top an equally crisp and pressed doctor’s gown. He wore plain black pants. Black, like the colour of his undercut hairstyle. The man seemed quite handsome. But, what struck me most was his pale, and oddly bright, blue eyes. They were so pretty and I’m pretty sure they sparkled. I was so jealous. I wished I had eyes like him. Instead of well, mine.

“Eren Jaeger, yes?”

My jaw inwardly dropped. His voice was rich, like the finest and most expensive chocolate. It had me captivated and craving more.

“Well…” He spoke again.

“Y-yes” I stuttered, furiously nodding my head.

The short man walked back into the room, not waiting for me and not holding the door open. I stepped up and forward, just catching the door before it closed.

I stand nervously in the corner of the room, while this man messes around with something in the corner. “I-I… Erm… Where is Erwin?”

The man turned around to me. “Erwin got promoted.”

Great, just great! Now I have to show _them_ to yet _another_ person. “So, I’m guessing you’re my new ophthalmologist? Can I get a name?” I asked, still nervously twiddling my thumbs in the corner.

He pointed at the chair at the back of the room. “Sit.”

I did as I was told, still messing with my hands though.

The room I was in, had similar haphazardly placed decorations to those in the waiting room. The walls were white washed and didn’t have a single marking on them. When Erwin worked in this room, I’m sure there were quite a few scratches. Maybe that was just me. But, maybe it wasn’t. The whole room seemed cleaner than it had been last time I was here. I’m not saying Erwin was messy, or a slob. He isn’t. I’m just _suggesting_ that this person has a serious thing for cleaning.

“Levi.” The man with the divine voice spoke.

“W-What?” I asked.

“Levi… My name is Levi. Yes I am your new ophthalmologist and stop looking like you are going to shit yourself. I’m not going to hurt you.”

_I’m not worried about you hurting me. I’m worried about what you will think._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets a little hot under the collar. He goes to work and Hanji delivers him with waves of good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to set a date or estimate for a new chapter. I write when I have time. So, deal with it, you will get it eventually.

_I’m not worried about you hurting me. I’m worried about what you will think._

My heart started to pound mercilessly as he, my ophthalmologist, Levi, walked over to me. He sat in a chair and glided over. Not shuffled, but glided. Everything he did seemed to be a smooth as silk. Levi tapped at my glasses with a pen. “Remove these.”

My breath hitched and my heart started to pound even faster. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack and drop dead right there. _Calm down Eren! CALM.THE.FUCK.DOWN!_ I repeated a mantra of that in my head and eventually plucked up some courage to take them off, but I instantly closed my eyes.

I heard Levi huff a breath of annoyance. _Great, now I am pissing him off. Show him Jaeger. What is the worst that could happen?_ Well, a lot of bad things could happen. _Fuck it!_ I opened them and looked up to Levi, straight into his eyes. Said man’s eyes seemed to widen. This caused me to become very self-conscious once again and I averted my eyes. “I-I’m sorry… they’re ugly right.”

“No.”

I froze for a moment before looking up to my new ophthalmologist. “What d-did you just say?”

“They are not ugly.”

“B-but… But. What? I-I don’t understand?” I choked out, not having a clue what the fuck was going on.

He sighed again. “Stop making me repeat myself. I don’t think your eyes are ugly. I find them beautiful.”

My jaw physically dropped this time. I could not believe what I was hearing. I opened and closed my mouth, trying to say something. I looked rather like a fish, actually. Tears started to prickle my eyes again. I couldn’t stop them. No one had ever called my eyes beautiful before. Well, actually, I lie, my mum always used to say it to me, but I never believed her. I thought she was just obliged to say that; I was her son. But, to hear it from someone who I have never seen before… wow. I felt… I don’t know what I felt.

A hand rested on my shoulder. “Hey, what is wrong?”

I shook my head, my sobs getting harder. I tried to rub my damp eyes, but I felt my hands being pulled away and tissues being stuffed into them. I mumbled a thank you and blew into said tissues before scrunching them into a ball and fitting my thumb around it. “I’m sorry, it’s just… no one has ever said that to me. About these.”- I gestured to my eyes –“I’m sorry.”

My ophthalmologist shook his head. “Brat, stop apologising. Anyway, what do you want to do about them? I guess your heterochromia is why you have come here?”

I gave an affirmative grunt. “I just need some more contacts.”

“Okay, let me look at them.”

I opened them and stared straight into his eyes. It was a little awkward, but at least I got a chance to look at his dazzling eyes close up.

“Mhm.” He said before pulling away. “As I thought. Okay, Eren. Both of your eye colours are rare hues. I’m afraid we will have to order in some special ones. There could take up to two weeks to get here.”

“TWO WEEKS! They never normally take that long.” I shouted. I really couldn’t wait that long.

He nodded. “Because I am new here, the order will take longer. I’m sorry about that. I suppose you could use contacts for both eyes, for the time being. But, they will cause you to have blurry eye sight for those two weeks. Is that okay?”

“I suppose.” I sighed.

Levi stood up and made his way around to his computer. “Stay there whilst I take the information for your contacts. Which one would you like contacts for?”

“I would like teal contacts, they are a more _normal_ colour.”

I could see Levi flinch slightly at the word _normal_.

He took out some tools and took the data he needed. After putting it all on the system and filing an order. He left the room.

I let out a breath and lay back in the chair. This new ophthalmologist seemed to put me on edge and I don’t quite know why.

He was very handsome. And muscular. And perfect. And- _what am I thinking?_ I shook my head and placed my hands over my reddening face. “Eren, please stop. He would never want you.” I took a shaky breath and composed myself. But, that was short lived. The door opened and in came Levi, as did an even brighter blush. My heart was going a mile a minute and I was scared shitless of whether he had heard me or not. _Wait… was it even about him_. Well, of course it was. But, he didn’t know that. I should really calm down. I need to stop my overly paranoid ways.

I’m pretty sure Levi saw my blush but didn’t bother asking. To him, I was just another patient. He handed me a box. With my stupid brain I didn’t realise what he was giving me. But, I opened it to find some temporary contacts. They were a green colour. Quite plain. Quite, normal. I would have contacts for both eyes. But wearing them all the time could lead to blindness. Also, I find them quite irritable and they make my vision go blurry, so I opt to have one contacted eye. Even though it’s still irritable, it’s better than the suffering I had to go through without them. I thanked my ophthalmologist and put the contacts in straight away. For me, the sooner _they_ were away, the better.

After putting the contacts in, I blinked several times, willing away some tears that had gathered due to my eyes going dry. I shuffled forward off the chair as Levi scribbled something down, bending over his desk. Bending over the- _No, Eren. Now is not the time and there will never be a time_.

My eyes wandered to Levi’s hand now. His hand literally glided over the paper he was writing on. It was extremely elegant and the flick of his wrist, when he finished a sentence, proved just that. He was so elegant. Not just with his writing, though. I noticed that all of his movements are elegant and swift. With a final tap on the paper, Levi capped his pen and placed it into a pencil pot, where all of the pens stood perfectly straight and stood in height order. The tallest pens being in the centre and the pens on the outside were smaller. I had never thought of that before. But, it’s quite smart. That way, he would be able to see all of the pens easily. I’d do the same, but I don’t have a pencil pot. Well, I do. I think I do anyway. It’s one of those things I seemed to lose in the great migration to a new apartment.

Anyway, Levi had finished writing and turned around to me. He held out the paper along with a couple more boxes, probably of contacts. “Okay, Eren. Here is your prescription and enough contacts to last you several days. I would give you more, but there is a limit of many I am allowed to take at a time.”

I nodded understandingly and turned around to leave.

“Oh, wait. One more thing.” My attention was brought back to the small form, my ophthalmologist. He got a new piece of paper and started scribbling something down again.

“Here, in case of emergencies. I don’t have a business one, this is my personal. So, please don’t call me unless it _is_ necessary.” He handed me the slip and indeed, it did have his number. Also his name too, in his elegant cursive. His writing was really girly actually. But, so beautiful. I wish I could write that nice. My script is all chicken scratchy and horrible. I took the note out of the raven’s hands, with a little blush, might I add. I folded it and placed it in my back pocket, near my phone, for later.

“That everything?” I asked, I kind of wanted to go back now, I had work starting soon anyway.

He waved a hand dismissively and I took my leave.

I walked back to the foyer to see an all too nervous Petra. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Did everything go okay?” She asked, I could see her index finger picking at her thumb. That was a sign something was on her mind. As I said, I know her well, we go back.

I nodded, a little unsure. “Yeah, fairly well. Why do you ask? You look really nervous.”

Petra let out a breath, holding her right hand over her chest, she muttered a ‘thank god’ under her breath. “No, it’s nothing. Just. You see, well Levi is new here and lots of the patients don’t get along. Well, it’s not _them_ it’s _him._ He is really scary and intimidating. I thought something bad was going to happen.”

I didn’t know what she classed as ‘bad’ and I didn’t really want to know either. “Really? You think so? Come on Petra he isn’t-“

“Who isn’t what?” A deep rich voice interrupted. A deep rich voice that belonged to the very man we were, well Petra was just talking about.

“N-nothing.” Petra and I blurted in unison.

The raven just quirked an eyebrow before walking past us. Just as he was about to get out of earshot, he turned back around. “And Petra, I’m not that bad. I really don’t like to be described with the characteristics of Satan.” He said with a smug look, before stalking off. He left both of us speechless.

But, all I could think of was how lucky I was for him to stop me from speaking. If I would have carried on and he would have heard, then I would have… actually I don’t know what I would have done. What was I about to actually do anyway? Oh that is right. I was just about to pay him some sort of compliment.

I glanced and Petra, who was now as pale as a ghost. My hand rubbed her shoulder affectionately before I walked out, so I could go to work.

As I got into my car, I realised how excited I was for work. It’s funny really, someone saying they are excited about going in to work. I genuinely am. It’s not every day you get to work around your favourite thing in the whole world, books. I love them. Millions of portable universes. I work at SinaStones. All of the staff there are nice, even my boss too. My boss is also another person that knows about my heterochromia. Like Petra and I, we have known each other for a while. But with me and my boss, Hanji, it runs a little deeper, and longer.

She always used to protect me from the bullies, threatening to experiment on them and boy did that threat get them booking it. She’s very supportive of me. Through everything. When I got bullied, when my mum died, when my dad left and even when I came out as being gay.

I owe Hanji, a lot. Hell, she even got me my job. Albeit, it is my second job. But, admittedly, I wouldn’t have my other one without her either. I am an author. Not a really big one, but one who sells a decent amount of novels. Hanji was the person who encouraged me to take up writing. Her, my mum and Petra were like my no.1 fans. They always loved to see what I would conjure up once pen touched paper. Working at the bookstore really helps too, I can get lots of inspiration and avoid a writer’s block.

Before I knew it, the car journey was over, as was my little trip down memory lane. I got out my car and walked towards the shopping centre. I stopped to pet Titan, the malls unofficial pet cat. He had taken a particular liking to me. Maybe that was due to the fact that on my breaks I would take him food and sometimes read my novels to him. His favourites were my fantasy ones. They were my favourite too. I love the endless possibilities of magic and different races that live alongside humans.

Titan gave me an appreciate little purr and whined when I moved my hand away. Titan, it’s such a peculiar name for a cat. I named him that because when I first found him rummaging through boxes, he was as vicious as the Titans in the story books my mother used to read to me when I was younger. She used to read me others too. But, for some reason, I forgot what the others were about and the Titans? I don’t know, they stuck, I suppose. There was something vaguely familiar with them.

I smiled at Titan. “Be good, puss. Tuna today right?” The cat gave a nod and I took my leave, giving him a little way. Funny. It’s funny how I can talk to animals easier than I can people. Maybe it’s because they only break your heart when they can’t help it. Like, I don’t know, by dying. Oh, and they don’t talk back too. They don’t say hurtful things. And they don’t bully you to the point that you feel life isn’t worth living any more. So, actually, thinking about it, it isn’t that funny, it’s only right. It’s just me saving myself from the hardship and further secluding myself with those close to me. Like Hanji, or Petra.

_Jingle. Jingle._

The bell rang as I walked into the back entrance of the store. I preferred to use the back entrance. For the very reason of the bell. Also the fact I get to see Titan as I walk through. The back door led into the break room, where the lockers were and Hanji too.

As soon as I walked in, she turned around. A bright smile on her face. “Mornin’ Eren.”

“Hey Hanji. Sorry I’m a little late. I visited Petra this morning.”

Hanji knew what was meant by this and it dampened her smile a little. “How is she? And what was the haps?”

“She is fine. Oluo proposed to her finally. I ran out of contacts yesterday so I had to get some more this morning. But, it turns out that it could take 2 weeks to get my custom contacts. So Levi gave me these green ones.” I explained.

A squeal of excitement came from Hanji. “Oh congratulations to her. I will have to call her later. In fact, let’s all go out for drinks. But, first things first… Who is Levi? His name rings a bell.”

A slight blush dusted my cheeks at the mention of his name. “N-No one, really. He is just my new ophthalmologist, Erwin got promoted, you know.” I said with a little, impressed eyebrow wiggle.

“I know, he came round mine yesterday. Said some sexy midget he knew was replacing him. Probably why the name sounded familiar.” We both started to laugh.

“So, Erwin came around yesterday. Did you ask him about Armin?”-She nodded-“Really?! How is he?”

She shrugged. “Go ask him yourself, he is on shop floor.”

My eyes widened significantly, as did my jaw. I ran out of the break room and as Hanji said. He was there. He really was. “ARMIN!” I shouted, running toward him.

He turned to the source of sound and his whole being seemed to have brightened. “EREN!” Armin ran around to me and we locked in an embrace.

“Armin. How are you? I haven’t seen you in like what? How many months?”

The small blonde shrugged and wiggled out of my embrace. “I’m good. Great, in fact. I’m so sorry I haven’t seen you in so long. University takes a lot out of me and my time. The rest is spent with Erwin.”

I pitched an eyebrow. “So why are you here now?” I was happy to see him, so much so. But, shouldn’t he be at University instead of working.

“Don’t worry, Eren. The campus was closed for a couple of days. Some accident caused the whole place to lose electricity. I’m here because, Erwin was at work and I called Hanji. I would have called you. But, I know you are not a morning person. Anyway, Hanji asked if I could come in and help her, while she does paperwork. Well, here I am.”

I enveloped the small frame of my childhood best friend (practically my brother) again. “I have missed you so much and how is Mikasa?”

Armin swallowed. “She is… good. Still mad at you though.”

I sighed. “As much as I love her Armin. She needs to get a grip. Attending University was my choice to make, not hers. I chose not to go and I’m happy. I have two great jobs and a more than stable income.”

“I understand where you are coming from. But, she is your sister and it kind of is her duty to look after you. More so after you lost your parents.” Armin reasoned.

I shrugged, dropping the conversation and picked up a box that was under the desk. There was a post-it note on the box that read ‘New Arrivals’. I took out the different books, indulging myself in the smell of paper. My mind wandered back to mine and Armin’s conversation. I’m surprised he didn’t mention my eyes. He doesn’t know about my heterochromia, but surely he would notice that they had changed from my vibrant teal to a dull grey. Or had it been so long since we had seen each other that he forgot what my eyes looked like. But, it could just be him being polite. Maybe he remembers the way I would flinch at the mention of eyes and eye colour. Or like I said, maybe he just doesn’t remember. Which is quite sad if you think about it.

I stopped at a particular book. _My book!_ My eyes started to water as I looked around frantically for Hanji. But, she wasn’t on the shop floor. I ran back into the break room, happy tears welling in my eyes. Skidding past the doorframe I bellowed out for Hanji. She looked up at me, a smile on her face. She knew what was going on. “Hanji! They… They have my book!!”

Hanji stood up and walked over to me, offering a hand on my shoulder. “I know Eren. I sent your book to the head office, writing as you, asking whether they could sell it. I didn’t want to tell you, I wanted to wait for you to see it. I wanted it to be a surprise.

I wondered why there was more money in my bank this month. Considerably more money too. I didn’t complain though. “Thank you Hanji! Thank you so much!” I pulled her into a grateful bear hug, not wanting to let her go.

“Anything for you, my dear. You shouldn’t be thanking me, anyway. It was your hard work and talents. I just got the ball rolling.” My smile brightened, along with hers. “Oh, and they want you to make it a series.”

As if things couldn’t get any better, they wanted _more_. Well, I would definitely give them _more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter? I'm trying to pace myself on this fic, something I always seem to have problems with. But, woo go Eren! He is getting recognised for writing and Mikasa suck it up! Eren won't always be by you (as you can probably tell, I don't like Mikasa, sorry Jenny).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter being so short. The next chapter will be Levi POV so :3 yayyy!

With a skip in my step, I went back to my duties. Armin noticed my mood changed and questioned me.

“What has happened to you in the span of”-He checked his watch-“4 minutes?”

I clapped my hands, with a bright smile and a squeal. “Oh Armin! The most wonderful thing! You know my novel, ‘Behind These Walls’? Well,”-I held up a copy from the box-“They are selling them here and they also want me to make it into a series.”

Armin’s smile brightened. He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Congratulations, Eren! This calls for a party!” He clapped his hands excitedly, similar to how I clapped mine.

“Well, Hanji said we should go out for drinks tonight. So do you want to come? I’d love it if you could get Erwin to come along too, I haven’t seen him in ages. It would be nice for a catch up.”

With and enthusiastic nod, Armin bounded off into the break room, probably for the details of tonight’s meet, so I wasn’t too bothered that he had left me to fend for myself, around the customers.

The sound of a book being placed at the till brought my attention back to the present. “Hello and welcome to-.” My eyes widened. “L-Levi? What are you doing here?”

He looked as if he had never seen me before, with an unimpressed look, he picked up one of the books he placed down and waved it in the air a little. “Why else would I be here? I’m buying books, brat.”

I held my hands up defensively. I took the books and nosied a look at what he had picked up. There were four. Two were on the eyes and rare conditions for the eye. The third was about effective ways of dealing with paperwork. When I looked at the last one, I nearly dropped them all. The last book was my book. I’m surprised people are already buying it. I didn’t even think they were put out on the shelves yet, but they must have been. Maybe Hanji had something to do with it.

I rang in three of the books and held up the last, in a way similar to how Levi did before. “You read any of this author’s books before?” I was thankful I decided to publish my books under a pen-name. It would have been really embarrassing having him know two of my secrets. One, obviously being my eyes and two, that I am an author. One he reads too.

Levi nodded. “Yes, I have actually. Several of them. They are a relatively new author, but really good. I’m surprised they have only just started releasing them in stores. So when I saw it, I had to buy it. I have been looking for this for a while now. But, all of the online sites had ran out of copies. Rogue Titan is a very skilled writer.”

A knowing smile stretched across my face. “I’m happy to see it too. I can tell Rogue Titan puts so much effort into their books, it shows.” Which was true, I do put effort into my book, so much. I hope at least it shows through.

“Indeed.”

I smiled, once more and rang up the last book. “That’ll be”-I glanced at the price on the till-“£19.96”

He pulled out his wallet and handed me a crisp £20 note. “Would you like a bag?” Levi nodded and I proceeded to bag finish his order whilst bagging the books. Multi-tasking at its finest. I took out his 4p change and his receipt, handing them both over. He thanked me and put them both into his pocket, before reaching out for his bag.

“Enjoy the books and see you in a few days.” I said with a little wave. He waved back, with a ghost of a smile tracing his lips.

The rest of the shift was slow and a there was a fair amount of customers though. A few even bought my book. Which I initiated conversation over. Conversation that was similar to the one I held with Levi.

When it was my break I bought some tuna and went out back to visit Titan. I fed him whilst talking to him about all that had happened. Even though he was a cat, he seemed to be happy for me. Titan nuzzled into me and I gave him a cuddle. As I was leaving, I gave him a little peck and nuzzled into him, giving him a promise to be back soon.

I was about to leave when Armin told me Hanji wanted me in her office. I tried asking Armin why she wanted me, but he shrugged and walked off before I could ask him again. It seemed stranger, it rare of Hanji to use her office. Not that there was anything wrong with it. She preferred the break room, I don’t know why and I don’t know why she was using her office either. It was strange. I walked further into the back and into Hanji’s office. I pushed open the door. You may think it is rude, but Hanji didn’t care for privacy and told us all to just walk into rooms, without knocking. If something bad is going on, then it’s not their fault, but the punishment of being caught is hilarious.

It’s quite funny really. Especially when you are on shift with Jean. You never know what he could be doing. I even caught him jacking off in the kitchen once. _The Kitchen!_ I mean who does that?! Seeing his distraught face, from being caught and the face he made during his punishment was definitely worth all of the money I paid for the therapy sessions I took after seeing Jean’s dick. _Eurgh_.

“Hey Hanji. You wanted to see me and how come you are using your office?” I asked.

Hanji shrugged. “I felt like being all boss-like and calling you in to talk to you. Now, sit.” Hanji gestured to the chair opposite her. Instinctively, my heart started to speed up and I assumed the worst possible situation. “Phahaha. Eren, stop looking like you are going to cry. I’m not firing you. No, I’m just telling you that plans have changed and we are going to Armin and Erwin’s to celebrate instead of going to a pub. Don’t ask me why.”

I let out a breath and also let out a little chuckle. _Damn Hanji._ “Oh, okay. Yeah, I’m fine with that. What time?”

“Seven? Seven. Yes. It’s seven. Now scoot. Go home and get ready.” Hanji had moved away from her desk now and was behind me, shooing me out of her little office. Just as I was about to leave her room, Hanji stopped me. “By the way, Eren. I love those jeans on you, they make your ass _pop_!”

I blushed a little as I left. Passing through the break room, I grabbed my jacket. I looked at my watch. 5 o’clock. I have about an hour once I get home, depending on traffic. I left thought the back door, the cool breeze of autumn taking me. I said goodbye to Titan and made my way over to my car.

Once I got home, I had just over an hour before I had to set off for Erwin and Armin’s apartment. Mr. High Power decided to be on my side for one thing, so there was no traffic today.

I arranged the contact boxes around my sink, after changing the ones I had in, for fresh ones.

Deciding to skip a shower, since deodorant would be fine, I skidded across my laminate flooring and ended up facing my wardrobe. _Smooth_. I picked out my favourite Black skinny jeans and a Pierce the Veil T-shirt. I also put in my piercings too. I don’t normally put them in, but they fit with my outfit and I had to wear them from time to time, so they wouldn’t heal over. I checked myself out in the mirror, ruffling my hair a little. I slapped my ass, giving it a little wiggle. I really do love these skinnies. I pulled a face and a few poses before picking out some black combat boots.

I left my room, grabbed my keys and wallet and headed out of the door.

The trip on the way to Armin and Erwin’s took no time at all and I was quite early. I skipped up to the door, my happiness still fuelled from the amazing news before.

_Ratta tat tat._

I knocked on the door, for it to be opened not long after. Getting ready to greet whichever blonde could make it to the door. “Eren!” A deep, handsome voice started.

“Erwin!” I retorted, jumping into his arms, in a friendly way. Totally friendly, he was Armin’s. And Erwin was not my type either. But he was still god damn attractive. He looked like Chris Evans. Captain America, Chris Evans. Not the other one. So Erwin was HAWT!

I was given a little pat on the back and Erwin left my embrace, a smile gracing his face. “Armin told me you had an appointment today. How did it go?” _Wow, he doesn’t beat around the bush does?_ But, to be honest. I was thankful that he asked me now, rather than when we were in earshot of anyone.

“It went fine. I was pretty miffed you weren’t there. I really didn’t like the idea of showing someone else, these.”-I motioned to my eyes-“But, it ‘K. I’m over it. The new guy, Levi. Well, he recorded some data and stuff. I went because I ran out of contacts and the new ones could take up to two weeks. Anyway, he saw that I wasn’t happy about being without them so he gave me these, for the mean time.” I waved my hands in front of my face.

Erwin smiled and walked back a few steps, betting me enter the apartment.

When I walked into the living room, there were banners and party decorations everywhere. I turned back to Erwin, shocked. “How… What… When did you do this? I thought we were just having a drink.”

“No, Eren. We have been planning this for a while. The company gave us the dates for when everything, your book being sold in stores that is, would be finalised.” The smooth feminine voice started behind me.

I froze, then whipped around faster than sonic. “Mikasa?!”

Said sister gave me a little chuckle and pulled me into a hug, whispering into my ear. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Eren.”

My smile continued to grow, I turned to see the room filled with a fair amount of people. “Alright guys! Let’s get this party STARTED!” I shouted, earning myself a round of cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think guys? Any advice? Any things you like?   
> I love hearing from you all, you make me feel so good about myself!! :3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inside of Levi's mind... Let's see how it differs from what he comes off with.
> 
> P.S. Levi hates everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I have taken so long to update. I have been so busy, spending a couple of days in Wales really threw me off my routine, as it were.  
> But, here! I come bearing gifts of Levi POV. I made Levi really sassy and rude, in his mind. But, none of that comes off in his actions, he comes off as cold.   
> I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I couldn't be arsed to proof read it. I'm lazy, deal with it.

I hear shuffling coming from behind the door. Must be my next patient. My first patient.

It’s my first day of my new job.

I walk out of the room to see a sunglasses-clad brat. Who the fuck does he think he is? It’s indoors. Why the fuck is he wearing sunglasses. “Eren Jaeger, yes?”

He doesn’t reply, and I start to get slightly pissed off. I get easily annoyed. “Well…”

The brunette in my waiting room stutters, giving me a weak “Y-Yes.”

I walk back into my room, not bothering to look behind me. I hear him get up and follow me, like a puppy.

For wearing glasses, like a jerk, he doesn’t seem like so much of a tough guy. I let go of the door by accident, but don’t turn around or go to catch it. Guess that could make me come off as rude. That’s who I am, I’m rude. Deal with it.

The kid just stands there, looking sorry for himself, whilst I ready some tools. I don’t need the tools, well probably not anyway. But, messing with them is something to do. Also that and the fact I really enjoy seeing this person squirm, out of awkwardness in the corner. Ha, I’m so mean.

“I-I… Erm… Where is Erwin?” I hear the brunette speak.

“Erwin got promoted.” I turn around. Luckily I had finished talking before I turn around too.

It’s my first proper look at the person. He’s absolutely stunning. His tight skinny jeans are a god-send as they show off his fabulous ass. His loose teal jumper adding a nice contrast. Along with that, he has perfectly sun-kissed skin that set off his clothes. I envy him. After all, I am a small person with black hair that is too soft for my linking. Also, there is the fact that I constantly look like I’ve sucked on a lemon. But don’t even get me started on _his_ hair. Although it’s messy, it’s perfect. Dishevelled and long, I have the urge to muss it up more, and pull on it. But, I will myself to snap out of that little fantasy.

I’m so thankful that this ‘Eren Jaeger’ seems to constantly zone out; that means he wouldn’t have seen me eyeing him up, or continuing to do so, as it were.

“So, I’m guessing you’re my new ophthalmologist? Can I get a name?”

I don’t answer him and gesture to the chair at the back of the room, with my thumb. “Sit.”

He obeys my orders, like a little obedient dog. He looks around the room a little, still messing with his hands.

“Levi.” I speak.

“W-What?” He asks back, growing on my nerves, a little more.

I sigh. “Levi… my name is Levi. Yes I am your new ophthalmologist and stop looking like you are going to shit yourself. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He flinches a little at my statement but I decide to ignore it and get on with things.                      

I glide over to him in my chair. _Smooth_. Tapping on his sunglasses with the end of my pen, I ask him to remove them.

He looks taken aback and terrified? But, it all seemed a little _staged_ and my patience is starting to wear thin so I give a huff to show I was pissed.

After what seemed like a millennium of waiting, the brat finally removes his glasses. But, he keeps his eyes shut. Which just contributes to my annoyance more so.

Just when I’m thinking that we are going to get nowhere and that he might as well just get out of my office, I let out another sigh. Around 30 second later, I find a pair of eyes staring into the cold depths of my icy blue one. He seems quite amazed by my eyes, oh if only he knew.

It was not until that I take a good look at his eyes, that I am really amazed. I mean, I was really not prepared for _this_. The sight completely winded me. My eyes widened, which must be why he looked away, in shame.

“I-I’m sorry… they’re ugly right.” The brunette mutters under his breath.

I had to completely disagree with him. “No.” I deadpanned; it _was_ the truth.

He seemed like he was about to burst into tears. “B-but… But. What? I-I don’t understand?” he stuttered, barely holding back those tears.

Sighing, I reply him. “Stop making me repeat myself. I don’t think your eyes are ugly. I find them beautiful.”

His jaw dropped open and tear began to roll healthily down his face. I take back all that I thought about this person, Eren Jaeger. He was human after all, no matter how annoying. Clearly he is really self-conscious about his eyes. I started to feel guilty and hot all over.

But, I have never been good about assumptions so I asked him what was wrong.

He shook his head and reached his hands up to wipe his eyes. But, being the Germaphobe I am, I stuffed some tissues into his hand. Which he used and tucked under his thumb and I cringed at. “I’m sorry,” He apologised “it’s just… no one has ever said that to me. About these.”- I gestured to his eyes, taking a shaky breath –“I’m sorry.”

I really didn’t know why his was apologising, but I was starting to get a little agitated by it. It seemed like everything he’s doing is irritating me. But, then again, what doesn’t irritate me? Even the fucking sky gets on my nerves. Being all ‘high and mighty’ and what’s with it being blue. Twat.

 “Stop apologising.” I warned, he did stop soon after.

The rest of the appointment with Eren Jaeger went ‘smoothly’ and ‘normal’.

I found myself growing less irritated and more piteous, toward the boy. He wants his eyes gone because he was bullied. I got a little choked up when he said he just wanted them to be normal. Oh, if only he knew.

He looked rather devastated when I told him that his contacts would take around two weeks. I did kind of feel sorry for him.

My shift was over early today, since there were no more appointments booked in for me today, just one. Which is quite lucky really.

I was about to pass through the lobby, when I heard my name mentioned in conversation. But, deciding to be the demon, I am, I plunged right in and wanted to know why my name was mentioned. As I was walking over, I heard the desk lade, Petra I think her name is, tell the brunette boy all about my errors with the other patients.

Well, _sooooorry_ but it’s not my fault that most of the people that come in here have absolutely nothing wrong with their eyes. I wouldn’t mind if they just accept that they misjudged the severity of problem with their eyes, but some people. _Some people_ are just dicks. I have had several people accuse me of doing my job wrong, stating that there was _something_ wrong with their eyes. So, of course if people act like that to me, I’m going to fucking treat them the same way. Do you see where I am coming from?

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. As I was walking up to the gossiping pair, intent on conversing about me, I heard the brunette start talking. I have a pretty good guess at what he was about to say. I decided to be nice and save him from the embarrassment of speaking that sentence.

Surprised you say? Come on, at least I have a bit of mercy. The kid broke down to me and told me half of his life story, he needs to be cut a bit of slack.

When I interjected their conversation, they both whipped around and looked at me. Their expressions were priceless, especially the brunette’s. The horror on his face was as if he has just stepped on a snail.

A stuttered and spluttered “Nothing.” Sent me continuing on my way. But, before I rounded the corridor that led to the parking lot, I turned back around to the two. I warned them that I wouldn’t like to be described with the characteristics of Satan. Which was a lie really. I couldn’t care less what they described me as, in fact even I myself think I would make a pretty good ‘kind of hell’. Because, let’s face it… I’m a bitch. And as I was saying, I only gave that retort because I love seeing the horror on their faces as they flush hues of red I’ve never would have seen in my wildest dreams.

As soon as I left the building, into the parking lot, that hilarious situation from before seemed to have gone from my mind, instead being replaced with those beautiful eyes that belonged to none other than Eren Jaeger. Heterochromia is so rare and I never thought I would see another. But, his eyes are even more so special. Normally you see heterochromia with the bland boring colours like brown and blue. But, no, not this guy. The two colours of his eyes were so different and rare. The colours were stunning and they twinkled like stars.

If I had to pick a favourite colour out of the two, I simply couldn’t. I loved the gold one because it gave him a rich and powerful aura or bright, like the sun. His teal eye reminded me of the bright sky on an extremely sunny day. As much as I hate the sky and pretty much everything else on this god forsaken planet, I loved Eren Jaegers eyes. But, not when they were full of tears.

I hated how he flinched and acted like he did around me. I don’t know why, but those little gestures sent the ‘knife of guilt’ straight into my heart each time and I don’t even know why. Maybe because I… No, probably not.

When I got into my car, I headed over to the shopping centre close by. I have to go and pick myself up some new underwear and some books. It seems I’m forever buying new underwear. It’s not me soiling them, that’s filthy. No, they always seem to disappear. Must be Hanji. Note to Self: Stop letting Hanji into my room- no, stop letting her into my house.

Hanji is my neighbour and she always makes excuses to come into my house. So she must be the reason for my missing underwear. She is the manager of the bookstore that is set on my list to visit. I would go to another book store to avoid her, but it’s the only one nearby. Why avoid her? I hear you ask. Well, here’s my answer. Hanji is the most annoying and energetic person you can get. She is obsessed with these mystical creatures and it pisses me off, like everything else, but Hanji is just _more_ annoying than anything else in the fucking _UNIVERSE!_

I parked up at the shopping centre and headed to the _Calvin Klein_ store, to which I seemed to be a usual customer. All of the workers know my name and we would hold conversations if I wasn’t such a bitch and if I looked a little friendlier.

Once I reached the store, I braced myself for the wall of cologne that was doomed to hit me. It seems everyone that shops here just loves to drench themselves in cheap smelling cologne. It’s wrong and like everything else, it pisses me off.

Tears welled in my eyes as I was greeted by said paint curling smell. Being a usual, I still haven’t got used to that God awful smell. Ewie.

I walked over and stopped in front of my usual rack, black briefs. As I searched for my size, I noticed they didn’t have mine. They had the one up or the one down. I guessed neither. The sizes in this shop went from one extreme to another. It was either intense ball strangulation or fiddly kecks. I sighed; I really do need new underwear. In this certain store, they only have two colours of briefs, black or pink. I guess I had to pray that Hanji would stop drawer diving; it would be embarrassing if she saw them.

Deciding to suck it up, I pick up several pairs of pink briefs, which they did have in my size, damn. I made my way over to the changing rooms just in case that size magically didn’t fit me anymore. I undressed and pulled up the new pair, snapping the tight elastic waist band into place. Flexing a little, a pulled a few poses. I actually looked quite good. I know it’s quite vain to proclaim that, but I am gorgeous. My body is so ripped and muscled. I started to run my fingers over my defined abs. I admired how the pink briefs complemented my body and I was pleasantly surprised how much they suited me.

Quickly getting dressed, I smoothed out my red shirt and set off to pay for my new underwear. As I paid, I earned a look of sympathy from my usual cashier. I shrugged and took my bagged goods, leaving before the cashier could give me my change. They didn’t shout back, they know I don’t like change, it’s too fiddly and the jingle of change annoys me also. I think I’m just going to stop pointing out what annoys me; everything annoys me.

I chuckled at my inner dialogue as I headed over to SinaStones. I had to pick up a couple of books, on the eye. I’m _am_ good at my job, but you can’t miss an opportunity for extra knowledge.

 _Mmmmh_ , books. You really can’t beat the smell of books. If there was a book flavoured Febreze, I would totally buy a lifetime supply of it.

I ran my hand along the smooth wooden shelving that supported the books. A familiar array of colours caught my eye and I walked over to it and picked up the suspicious book. _NO WAY!_ In my hands was ‘Rouge Titan’s’ latest volume. I started to spaz the fuck out as I couldn’t find this book anywhere. Every site I checked, it was sold out and I didn’t realise that they started to be published into stores.

Collected my other books, there was a skip in my step. I was only planning on buying on book about the eyes, but one intrigued me. It was about rare eye conditions and all that jazz. I picked up the copy and flicked through it a little. Stopping at a random page, I nearly choked on my own saliva. The page I stopped on was about heterochromia. When I saw it, the eyes of that brunette popped into my mind, okay I’m definitely buying this book.

I carried my three books over to the cashier and almost choked on my saliva again. There, right there at the till was Eren fucking Jaeger. I didn’t know he worked here. But, then again, I normally shop in the evening or Hanji brings me home a few. Which I do pay for, so chill the fuck out. The brunette turns to me, his face suddenly flushing a deep red.

I pass him my books and he motions the one I picked up first, the one I was most excited about reading. “You read any of this author’s books before?” He asked, with a little bit too much enthusiasm and excitement. I decided not to press on his over eagerness and answer his question.

We conversed a little on the subject of this author. It’s a shame he was wearing contacts. His eyes didn’t shine like I hoped they would have. But I built a bride and I got over it. I paid and got change back, cringing slightly, I put the 4p I was owed into my pocket making a mental note to dispose of it as soon as I can.

I walked out of the shop and the shopping centre, but I didn’t leave. Instead, I walked around to the back entrance of the shop I just left, I had a bone to pick with a certain cretin by the name of Hanji.

I entered through the back door and dragged Hanji from the break room into her office. I slammed the door behind me and glared at her. “Hanji why the fuck do you keep taking my underwear?!” I shouted.

Hanji started to laugh, that just fuelled my rage. “Haha… Calm down Levi, please sit.”

I am a civilised person so I decided to agree to her request and sat in front of the desk which she went and occupied.

“Sorry for taking your underwear, but I had experiments to do.” I gripped the arm of the chair harder, I don’t even want to know what she means by ‘experiment’.

Holding up the bag, I pulled out one of the pink pairs of underwear. “I had to buy new ones and there were no black in my size. I swear to God, Hanji if you take one more pair… I’ll castrate you!”

“But, Levi. I’m a woman. You can’t castrate me.”

I glared her down and stood up, gesturing to my unimpressed face. “Does it look like I fucking care?”

Hanji smiled at me, sealing her death sentence, for the near future. Death by who, or what? Why it will be by the hand of me, of course. “So, Levi… How did your first day go? Did you treat Eren well?” Her smile turned into a knowing smirk.

“Eren? You know Eren?” I asked, dumbly.

“Well, of course I do, I’m his boss. But, he is also a childhood friend of mine, you may have seen him come to my apartment a few times.

I was relatively surprised with this new piece of information. I never would have guessed. I hadn’t seen anyone, other than Hanji leave or enter her apartment. “Nope, never seen him. Does he know I know you?”

She shook her head. “Nah, I played it safe. I was close to telling him I know you since he mentioned your name.”

“What did he say about me?” I asked, a little too over eager.

“Nothing, other than the fact you gave him some contacts. Oh, by the way… Erwin called you a sexy midget.”

 _Sexy midget_ … oh boy, am I going to whoop Erwin’s ass when I next see him. I don’t mind him calling me sexy, all my friends do. But the fact that Erwin called me a midget. Ha. I don’t care how long we have known each other, I will still kick his ass for pointing out the fact I am vertically challenged.

Swivelling her chair from side to side, Hanji started “So… what do you think about Eren?”

I inwardly flushed, thinking back to how I admired his ass and felt sorry for him as he cried. He seemed like a sweet guy and someone I would like to get along with. “I don’t like him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one is back to Eren POV ;-; no more sassy Levi for a while.   
> Tell me what you think and got an improvements/suggestions? drop them in an I'll check them out   
> <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! I have taken in your feedback and have required the help of a Beta Reader!  
> She is such a darling and I am so thankful to her!  
> http://otakunikkichan.tumblr.com/  
> Go check her out, she is awesome :3
> 
> and thank you all for sticking with me so far...  
> Now! On with the story!

As my hung-over body stares at the ceiling, the pounding in my head blinding all my senses, I realise… Last night was a really wild party. Even if I have forgotten everything about it, I know it was great.

I push up on my elbows and shuffle backwards tothe headboard, resting my back against it. I clutch my head as the pounding increases. I wonder how I even got to my apartment in the first place. How I am wearing my pyjamas instead on lying face down in Erwin and Armin’s apartment, with beer stained clothes.

I scan the room to find it’s not actually my room, or apartment for that matter. No, with the odd trinkets and bric-a-brac lining the room, I recognise it to be Hanji’s room. My hand touches the spot next to me to find that it is still warm. I’d wonder where she is, but the scent of bacon in the air tells me all I need to know. After finding myself in Hanji’s room, I check the clothes I am wearing ~~.~~ No they are definitely mine, and they weren’t the good ones either. The pair she’s taken were some incredibly embarrassing ones I was given, as a joke. They read “Tickle my pickle” with an arrow pointing to my crotch. I wonder why Hanji has my pyjamas. But then again, she is known to be a clothing thief and I have had many garments taken by the hands of that crazed woman.

Fighting through the searing pain, I push against my body’s resistance and will myself to the kitchen.

The light tap of my feet was quiet, but loud enough that Hanji could her me coming. As I broke through the threshold of the kitchen, Hanji twirled around to greet me, waving a spatula in the air. “Morning Eren!” She beamed.

I clutched my head at her excitedly loud tone, a guttural groan falling from my lips.

“Oh, shit sorry. Your head must be shredded after last night. I don’t have any aspirin, but my neighbour might. ~~Would~~ Do you want to go and get some?” Though her tone and volume had calmed a little, I could still see the eagerness in her eyes. Even behind her fogged up glasses.  She is such a morning person, to which, I am not.

Without bothering to put on clothes, or shoes, I walked out the front door to get some much needed aspirin from said neighbour. As I walked there, I noticed the skip in my step was still there. I’m truly happy about my book and finally something is going right for me.

I knocked on this stranger’s door. I head a muffled groan and a “What now Hanji!” coming from behind the door in a frighteningly familiar voice. _No, it couldn’t be_.

Oh, but it was.

It was Levi.

As said raven looked up, his breath hitched a little and he averted his eyes. I could her him mutter threats about Hanji, until I cleared my throat a little, unintentionally. His attention snapped back to me. The faintest bit of emotion that was present before was gone and he was back to his indifferent self. “What do you want, Brat?”

I started to mess with my fingers, similar to how I did when we first met, only a day ago. “Erm… Hanji has no aspirin. Could s-she... I mean, could I have some please?”

He opened his door a little wider. Taking it as a signal, I walked in.

I scanned the room and nearly gasped. It was spotless, I think it’s even cleaner than a showroom home. Absolutely spotless.

I stood gawking at Levi’s belongings for a good while.

A bony finger tapping my temple brought me back with a wince of pain and a start. When I turned, I was met with Levi bearing a cup of water and a couple aspirin in his hands. I took them from him with a grateful smile and downed them, cringing slightly at the disgusting taste.

As I was drinking down the pills, I heard Levi let out a breathy laugh. I lowered the cup, swallowing what was in my mouth as I did. “What?” I asked, my right eyebrow pitching up slightly.

Levi shook his head, his chuckle turning into a smirk. “Nice pyjamas.” He commented. 

Instantly, I flushed a deep red. I placed the half full cup on the nearest surface. Muttering a thank you to Levi, I started to head out of his apartment.

As I opened the door it was pushed back. I turned around to see Levi caging me, with his petite body. _Too close_.

“Why don’t you stay for tea?” He asked.

I shifted awkwardly and responded “Hanji is making breakfast for me next door, why don’t you come. I’m sure she has made enough, she always makes too much anyway.”

The presence of his body disappeared. “Tell me something I don’t know.”-Levi seemed to ponder a little-“Alright, I’ll come over. I swear Hanji better not lecture me on mythical creatures again.”

I laughed a little; there was no way Hanji would give up an opportunity to ‘spread the word’ of mystical creatures. So the best we could do was just deal with it.

Levi moved around me to open ~~ed~~ his apartment door and let me out, whereas I just walked out and into Hanji’s apartment, without knocking. We were at that point, where both of us can just walk into each other’s houses. We even have spare keys for each other’s places. I don’t use mine for Hanji’s often. In fact, I could probably count, on one hand, the amount of times I have had to use Hanji’s key. But, unluckily for me, the story wasn’t reversed. Hanji would spend pretty much all of her free time on my sofa, or raiding my drawers, as it were.

“Hey, Hanji? I hope you made a lot of food because for one, I’m starving, when did I last eat? And ~~for~~ two, we have a guest.” I said as I hopped onto a chair pulled up to her breakfast bar.

“Heh! You managed to get Levi to come? I’m surprised he didn’t fight you for just knocking on his door.” She beamed at me again, this time the aspirin was fighting her, so it didn’t bother me too much.

The clatter of a chair next to me being pulled out and the whump of someone jumping onto the stool caught my attention, as Levi sat next to me.

I looked over him, until something moving took my attention lower. The sight that greeted me had me biting back a laugh.

Levi was idly swinging his legs in the air, as they couldn’t reach the bar that you are supposed to rest your feet on.

My attempt to hide my laugh was for nothing as I let out an ungodly snort. The snort had everyone turn their attention to me. Their gazes followed my own, to reach Levi’s feet. Hanji laughed with me and Levi started to get pissed. “Fuck you, Eren.” He said as he jumped down from the stool and started to walk off.

“Levi, wait! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, seriously. Don’t go.” I pleaded.

The raven just ignored me and left Hanji’s apartment. I felt really guilty after that, my cheeks going red and my body burning up all over.

Neither me nor Hanji said anything through breakfast, I still felt extremely guilty. I always have to fuck up everything, don’t I? Fucking typical Jaeger.

 

 

Once I got home, I scrubbed away in the bath. Clean, I laid back and started to day dream. My thoughts slowly drifted to Levi, like my body slowly drifted further into the bathtub. I pictured his small, dainty body being caged in by my own. He silently moaned as I stared to- My eyes opened as I snapped up out of the water. _Shit, shit, shit! Get a fucking grip, Jaeger. You’re having weird visions of a guy you have just met._

I got out of the bath and towelled myself dry. I looked into the mirror and cringed slightly, no contacts. Opening the medicine cabinet, I had a mini heart-attack. My contacts were gone. Like the first time, I started to freak out and I was so close to crying. But, I realised that I had put the boxes of contacts in my bag, to take to the party; you could never be too careful and you never know what could happen.

So, I walk out of the bathroom, in just a towel, to search for my bag.

Half an hour later, no bag to be found. Instead of freaking out, (which was surprising) I called up Hanji, since I must have left it at her apartment.

After several rings, Hanji picked up the phone. “Hello~ my dearest!”

“Oh, hey Hanji! Have I left my bag at your apartment? I really need it.” My tone started to sound a little desperate, which no doubt made Hanji feel a little sorry for me.

“No, sorry Eren. I cleaned up after you left.” Hanji replied, sympathy tingeing her voice.

I cursed under my breath and thanked her, even though there was nothing she could help with.

Guessing there was no way to get my contacts back, I scrolled down my contacts list and stopped. I pressed the call button and held the phone up.

“Hello?”

“Levi, it’s Eren…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, i'd love to know what you thought!  
> How do you like Nikkichan? I think she is GREAT!
> 
> Until next time  
> <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is a real life saver. But is he only doing it for his job. Or is it because it was Eren?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOOO there guys! I'm so sorry for the late update and the short chapter. Both me and Nikkichi have been very busy. I promise it will never be this late again. But don't hold me to that.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Levi… It’s Eren.” I said, all too nervously.

  
“What's wrong, Brat?” He replied, a touch of worry in his tone.

  
I took a deep breath, composing myself. “I… erm. Levi, I-I can’t find my contacts!”

  
I hear the raven let out a heavy breath. A sigh maybe, but thinking about it he might have been relieved rather than irritated. “Are you sure? You've looked everywhere?”

  
Nodding my head, I realise he can’t see me, so I answer with a feeble “Y-Yes.”

  
“Okay,” Levis' deep rich voice started. “Today was supposed to be my day off, but meet me at the centre in 20.”

  
And then the dial tone.

  
My heart pounded in my chest. Relief poured through me. He hadn't hung up on me immediately. Happiness fizzed through my veins as I thought over the brief call. He was going out of his way, I realised. Just for me. That was it, right? I mean, he wasn't required to do this for me after all. Although, it could just be me assuming things.

  
A cool breeze swept over my naked hips. I looked down to find that my towel had slipped off during the call. I was surprised to realise that I was, clutching the phone with both of my hands. Shaking my head clear, I quickly got ready, throwing on whatever happened to be nearest. Which was a pair of acid washed jeggings and a pink polo shirt.

  
Like a flash, I was out of the door and in the car, igniting the engine and speeding off.

  
About halfway there, I had realised that I hadn’t brought my sunglasses. I felt the colour drain from my cheeks as a wave of self-consciousness swept over me. But, I suppose, tension fading, it's nothing Levi hasn’t already seen. Anyway, I could always just look down as I walk along.

  
When I pulled into the car park, a glance at the dash clock told me I was running 5 minutes late. Muttering a curse, I jumped out of the car and sprinted to find Levi. There he was, standing outside the building, a slight frown marring his usual indifferent expression, and a foot tapping in impatience. His eyes appeared to be glued to his watch so I didn’t expect him to see me coming. Or so I thought.

  
Closing the distance, I was about to clear my throat to catch his attention. But his voice sounded before I could make a sound.

  
“You’re late Jaeger. It’s my day off you know. I could have had things to do.”

  
“Well do you?” I asked, feeling a little guilty for making him coming out on his day off.

  
He looked up at me, eyes staring intently into mine, no disgust or horror showing in his irises. For that, I was happy. “No.”

  
A breathy chuckle slipped from my lips, guilt fading as I averted my eyes to the floor and we continued on.

  
As we walked an awkward silence settled over us and stuck. I’m pretty sure Levi noticed I wouldn’t raise my head or look anywhere but the floor. But, he didn’t question it. Probably already suspecting the obvious answer.

  
We reached the store room and I waited outside patiently, still staring at the floor. Once Levi emerged, he has a couple of contacts boxes in his hand. I took them gratefully, with a quiet “Thank You” and slight smile. Levi locked up and we both headed towards the restroom. I don’t know why we both headed over, but I wasn't going to question it.

  
Levi and I stood before the mirror, Levi standing the right of me. I stared deeply into my eyes. A sideways glance showed me Levi looking over too. The urge to look away, to hide them threatened to overwhelm me. But, remembering what he said yesterday, I took a steadying breath and decided against it. Whilst I peered into my eyes, my fingers prodded my eyelids and combed back my eyelashes. I took one of the boxes I had placed by the side of the sink, opened it and took out the lenses.

  
I looked out of the corner of my eye and found Levi was no longer watching me. He wasn't even beside me anymore. The suspicion that he must have gone to a cubicle was confirmed as some shuffling sounded from one of said cubicles. Had to be him, there was no one else here, thankfully.

  
Stretching my eyelids, I put in my contacts and blinked a few time, to adjust where they sat. I gazed longingly at my reflection, wishing my eyes were like this normally.

  
My hand came up to comb my hair in place, smoothing it back feeling rather content. Until the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me made me lose my shit and I jumped higher than Michael Jordan.

  
I turned around to see a smirking all-too-pleased Levi, so I flipped him the bird. He let out a chuckle, voice low and rich. “C’mon, let’s get out of here brat.” He said as he turned around and walked out.

  
My head nodded, although he couldn’t see me and I followed him out of said bathroom, making sure to pick up my contacts on the way.

  
When we left the building, I started to head towards my car. But a hand gripped my upper arm and I was spun around to face Levi. “Where are you going? You could at least buy me a coffee, as a thank you.”

  
I gave him a small smile and towed him towards the nearest café. We walked up to the counter and were greeted by the friendly freckled face of my friend, Marco. He was at the party last night. “Hey Marco.”

  
“Hello there Eren. How are you feeling after last night?” he asked cheerfully.

  
I shrugged. “Eh, I felt like shit this morning I woke up at Hanji’s place. Then went home and had a bath. I feel okay now. You?”

  
Marco smiled and with a shrug replied, “Better than you fared.” A pause as his eyes flicked to my companion. “So, who’s this Eren?” the freckled male asked suggestively, with a wink.

  
A blush flooded my face as I choked on my words. “N-No! Marco, I-It’s not like that!”

  
“I’m Levi. Eren’s friend. Just his friend.” Levi interrupted, saving me from my stuttered denial.

  
I was thankful in many ways that he interrupted. I’m glad he said friend too. If he said ophthalmologist, Marco would be concerned and asking questions I didn't want to, that I couldn't, answer.

  
“Mhm. Anyway, what’ll you have?” Asked Marco, changing the subject.

  
“A black coffee for me and…” Levi looked back to me.

  
I squinted at the drinks board, already knowing what I wanted. “A mint chocolate milkshake for me.”

  
Marco processed our orders and gave us our price. I went to take out my wallet, but Levi beat me to it. I stared out him, dumbfound. “Levi? What are you doing? I said I would treat you.”

  
Levi ignored my complaints and went to seat himself in the far corner of the café.

  
I watched him walk off, then started to follow after him, looking back to Marco as I did so. His knowing look making my fading blush return full force.

  
Levi had seated himself with his back to the door, so I took the seat in the corner. This gave me a good scope of the café.

  
I looked at Levi, gearing myself to say something. But as the words stuck in my throat, I frowned.

  
“What’s up Brat? Still upset that I paid?” he asked.

  
“A little, I was supposed to treat you.”

  
Levi clicked his tongue and we both fell into an awkward silence. The only sound being the chatter of the almost empty café and the coffee machine grinding on.

  
“Thank you.”

  
I got a questioning look from Levi. “Why? I was only doing my job.”

  
I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure coming in on your day off to help someone like me isn’t a part of your job.”

  
“What is that supposed to mean.”

  
Again, I shook my head.

  
“Okay then, it wasn’t my job. But when you called me, you sounded scared; I didn’t like it. I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” Levi said, looking down at the table.

  
It felt a little weird. I had never seen Levi at this way, caring. He seemed like he was genuinely worried about me. Seemed. That’s all things were, for me at least. People seemed to be my friend. They seemed to care. But, when they saw my eyes, the mask fell away, and so did they. So when Levi seems to be worried, I don’t know whether to be scared or allow myself to be happy.

  
But after a life full of let downs, I couldn't be sure. Things may seem to be going well for me right now, but... maybe things weren't as they seemed.

  
My trail of thought was interrupted by Marco placing down our drinks. I gave him a smile and he tucked the tray under his arm, giving me a wink as he left.

  
I turned to my milkshake and attempted to suck up the thick, minty liquid through my straw. The straw was too small to get any out. So, I took it out in favour of drinking without it.

  
Tilting the glass back, I took a long gulp, setting it down with a sigh of contentment as I caught my breath.

  
I looked to Levi to find him already looking back, a smirk on his face. “You want to try? It’s real good.”

  
The raven just continued to stare at me. I was about to ask him what he was looking at, but he reached over table and swiped his finger across my nose, retreating to place it in his mouth.

  
My deep red flush was back and I had the urge to just run out of the café. But, I was glued to my seat, unable to move as I watched him clean the digit.

  
“Mmmm, it is good.” Levi said seductively.

  
I don’t know why he was acting this way. But one thing I did realise was that my emotions were being influenced far too easily by this man, a man I have known for a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?  
> Also a MASSIVE thank you to my beta, Nikkichi. She's a real star and makes my work how it is! You're fab Nikki!
> 
> Next chapter we get a blast from Eren's past. So until then... Byeee


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Depressing... Sorry, not sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took a while. I took my time and made it somewhat long. Eh. I hope you enjoy! I would like to thank Nikki, my beta reader! The fic wouldn't be what it is without her! Seriously, I make SO many mistakes it's unreal. Well not they're not really mistakes, it's just my wording is really bad.  
> Enough from me! Now, on with the story.

I gaped at Levi, wide eyed, watching as his eyes widened marginally as the realisation hit him. Still glued in place, I watched as his eyes narrowed and sharpened into a glare.

“Eren,” he started, voice full of regret and guilt. “I don’t know what came over me.” Levi pushed his chair back and stood up, collecting the coat which I hadn't realised he had with him. Goes to show how much I pay attention then doesn’t it? He then left, striding past me without uttering another word or sparing me another look.

My over active brain started assuming.

He’d left quickly. It was all my fault too. Self-loathing started to hum under my skin as my mind continued. He probably realised how much of a freak I am, making him no different from the others. He’ll probably shove me onto another ophthalmologist because my eyes are just so disturbing.

It got me thinking back to when I was younger and I broke into a cold sweat. Back when I first discovered I wasn't normal.

“Eren! Are you ready for your first day?” My mother asked from down the hall.

I answered with a “Yes” muffled by the freshly minted bristles of my toothbrush.

Shortly after, she joined me in the bathroom. A warming smile graced her lips. Her smile could brighten the darkest of nights, and lighten the sourest of moods, a beacon of hope and happiness.

I was starting my first day of public school. Up until now, my sister (Mikasa) and I attended a private school. There we were the only ‘young ones’ and didn’t have to share any teachers with anyone.

Mikasa stayed at the private school, preferring it to a “loud rumbustious school full of snotty nosed little brats.” At the time, I didn’t know what half of the words actually meant, but I guessed it was bad. I was quite different from my sister. I actually had been pestering and begging mother to let me learn at a public school, where as Mikasa would do anything not to go to one. My mother was reluctant to let me attend, at first, but after I kept asking unrelentingly, she finally gave in.

My day started off without a hitch. I was dressed, fed and watered in record time. I pinned that solely down to the fact I was so excited about starting this new school and actually being in a class of other kids with a chance to make friends my own age

Soon enough I was in the car with my mother, seatbelt buckled and we were off. On the way, her eyes kept flickering over me. I thought it was because she found it strange that her son was practically vibrating in excitement due to the fact he could attend school. But my assumptions couldn’t have been more wrong. I’d find that out the hard way.

We arrived at the currently quiet school building, where my mother led me to an entrance at the back. After entering the main building, we were greeted by a cheerful, friendly woman. Straight away she complimented me on my eyes, noting their exoticness and how fantastic they were. This woman later became my go-to in the school.

Because I was a new student, after saying a reluctant goodbye to my mother, I was shown around the school. All of the rooms were clean and relatively well kept, ready and waiting for the students to fill them.

I noticed that no other teachers, other than my guide had commented on my eyes. It didn’t bother me at the time; I thought I was _normal_ after all, just like everybody else.

The bell rang just as we stopped at our final tour destination. The classroom I would be spending all of my lesson time in for the year. I was introduced to the woman, called Ms. Rico, who was to be my teacher. It was her first name, since she didn’t like to use her last name but there were formalities to uphold; it was a school after all.

The children piled into the room, eyeing me up as they went past. Well, I didn’t know that for sure; I was looking down the whole time. But it was kind of obvious. For one, I could feel their burning gazes and secondly, they were children and we all know children are little nosey shits.

When everyone was seated, other than my lonely self, still standing in front of the interactive board, Ms. Rico stepped beside me, to initiate my introduction to the class.

“Okay class!” She started, clapping her hands to capture everyone’s attention. “We have a new student starting today. His name is Eren.”

I lifted my head, looking at my new classmates. I opened my mouth, taking a deep breath as I geared myself to speak up and utter a greeting.

“Ms. Rico~ what is wrong with his eyes?” A child from the back questioned.

I looked up to the teacher in panic. She gave me a confused look and turned back to the class. “There is nothing wrong with Eren’s eyes.”

“There is Miss!” Another voice joined. “Just look at them, they're two different colours.”

I could hear my teacher sigh slightly “Class that is nothi-“

“Is Eren sick?” With that comment, I heard the sound of many tiny chairs scraping away from me.

My eyes found the floor and I could feel the tears threatening to spill. I willed myself not to cry, even as they started to spill over.

As soon as Ms. Rico saw tears, she guided me out of class, pulling an empty chair out on her way. She got me seated and gave me a reassuring pat, promising to return soon, then strode back into class.

The silence of the hallway was broken as Ms. Rico's voice rose, screaming at the class. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, withdrawing into myself. Thinking back to what they had said, maybe there was something wrong. I didn’t know I was special. Well, my mother told me I was. But that’s what she told both me and Mikasa. That we were special. So I thought it was just a mother thing to say. Although, I suppose that _is_ true really.

Lost in thought, I didn’t notice that someone had approached me. But a chubby finger tapping on my shoulder got me alert. I looked up to see the smiling face of the office lady. “What’s wrong my dear?” she asked, crouching down in front of me.

“I-I… I mean they-” I took a shaky breath “They said I have something wrong with my eyes and that I was sick!”

She looked sorrowful and pained. I liked this woman already. More so when she pulled me into a hug and spoke soft words of comfort to me “Don’t believe them, Eren. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. You’re not sick either. You inherited your eyes from your parents. It’s rare for someone to have two eye colours.” She pulled me back, squeezing my cheek after doing so. “So don’t let it get you down. Take it in your stride.”

I gave her a toothy grin before placing the edge of my index finger into my mouth as she proceeded to stand up. “What’s your name?” I asked around the digit.

The office lady looked pleasantly surprised at my question. “You know what? You are the first pupil to ever ask my name.

I smiled warmly at this new found piece of information.

“My name is Mrs. Hargreaves.”

“Mrs. Hargreaves” I repeated, testing the name. I then proceeded to nod, both of us smiling as we did so.

We both stayed there for a while, the sound of shouting had ceased and the door handle gave a warning rattle, signalling that is was being opened. It did and out came Ms. Rico, bearing an apologetic look on her face. Mrs. Hargreaves nodded to her and tottered off to her own business.

“Eren look, they didn’t mean it.” Somehow I couldn’t bring myself to believe her. “So, I’d like you to come back into class now.”

I nodded, really not wanting to step foot in her classroom. Children can be very stubborn and can't be persuaded against something they believe in. Getting off the chair, I took deep breaths to compose myself.

Walking in, all eyes were on me again. Their stares like daggers and making my skin itch.

Ms. Rico instructed me to sit by a boy called Bobby. All seemed fine, other than the stares I would receive every so often. Seemed being the key word. It wasn’t; Bobby leaned over often and whispered damaging words to me. He called me ugly and stated that I should keep my disease away from him among other insults like them.

This mistreatment continued all the way through my lower-school life. I got quite close to Mrs. Hargreaves, but eventually she got a new job and moved away. I was distraught and cried for days.

However when Mrs. Hargreaves left, Hanji joined. She had always been there for me and was like a sister to me. More of a sister than Mikasa could have ever been. But I would have traded neither for the world.

I seemed to cry a lot back then. I cried to my mother, my teachers and even to my array of stuffed toys. I cried for a whole multitude of reasons. Well, I say that but it was actually mainly due to people discriminating and ridiculing me for having two different eye colours.

After begging my mother constantly, she finally permitted me to have contacts. I thought they would stop the bullying. They _did_ stop me being picked on because of my heterochromia at least.

“Hey where are you going Gayger?” A ratty male voice called over to me.

I ignored him and kept on walking. My sexuality was well known across the school. I don’t know how people knew, they just did. Hanji wasn’t the sort of person to spread things around either. So I really was at a loss of who would tell people.

Maybe it was Mikasa. My sister was known to have a big mouth. But then again, like Hanji, she wouldn’t be a person to tell another something that would end up hurting me so much. They were both super protective of me. Armin… not so much. He wasn’t really the type to go all knight-in-shinning-armour for someone.

Anyway, I continued to ignore the person who had started spewing profanities and homophobic slurs at me. I was used to it. Well, the verbal part.

The pain of my head hitting the brick wall near me had me silently screaming in agony. The physical bullying was something I could never get used to.

“Listen when I'm talking to you, faggot!” He seethed in my face, spittle flying from between his crooked teeth.

“Heheh, yeah listen to him faggot.” The bully’s crony parroted.

I was backed against a wall. Both metaphorically and physically. There was no way out of this. I’m going to get beaten up. Maybe get put in hospital again. Boy, wouldn't that ~~was~~ fun!

The mouthy one pulled his fist back, his other hand had somehow found its way into gripping my collar. My eyes closed, teeth clenched together as I braced myself. I wouldn't let them have the satisfaction of hearing me cry out in pain.

Blood pounded through me and pulsed in my ears, blocking the taunts the two spat at me

The grip around my shirt suddenly loosened and disappeared. I opened my eyes a crack to see both bullies on the floor, their hands clutching multiple places on their bodies. Both of them had a foot jammed into their sides. I followed up the legs to find Hanji and Mikasa crushing the two while Armin stood timidly in the background.

Mikasa took her foot off her respective target, walking off without uttering a single word. Armin followed after her. Whereas Hanji beamed at me, obviously pleased she had a chance to fight for me.

Hanji was so aggressive and loved to fight. You’d think she was of German decent. The bespectacled woman delivered one last swift kick to each bully’s side before linking arms with me and tugging me along to join the other two.

“Thanks Hanji.” I said, rather run-down. I had been in situations that had resulted in me being grateful far too many times for my liking. She always fought _my_ battles. I always felt really guilty about it.

I tried to get her to stop, assuring her I was fine. But she really wasn’t having any of it, it was one of those situations where she wouldn’t be swayed with her decision either.

My high school life was hard. I was constantly taunted by despicable homophobes. Including my dad. He wanted me gone, out of the house. He couldn’t stand to have a ‘queer’ within a mile radius of him. Let alone under the same roof.

My father and mother constantly fought and argued. Each time getting more and more heated. It got to the point where Mikasa and I couldn’t sleep at night. There were also many times where one of my parents would storm out of the house, or my dad would say something particularly hurtful about me. Those nights I would cry myself to sleep and wake up with red puffy eyes. The mornings after the arguments were full of awkward glances and half of the time, someone missing from the table.

About halfway through high-school, I was pulled out of class one day and I was told that my mother had been admitted into hospital. My father meant to take me to her. However, on the way, he seethed abuse at me, saying this was all my fault; that none of this would have happened if I wasn’t born. He pulled over in a deserted car park and proceeded to beat me.

My mother died whilst this was happening. We never got to see her in her final moments. Again, my father blamed this all on me. He took to drinking which, in turn, led to more aggressive beatings.

The bully’s at school were harsher than ever. But my core group of friends have supported me all the more. They started to suspect things were bad at home. Hanji even got in contact with the police. But my father disappeared without a trace before the police even stepped in.

I ended up admitting to my friends what he had done to me. Hanji was furious and cried with anger. Armin was composed on the outside, but inside, I bet even he disgusted and angry with my father's treatment. Mikasa… Well, Mikasa was the most affected by the news. She apologised so many times over for the fact she didn’t realise it was happening. She also felt the most blinding of fury towards our father. Mikasa went as far as attempting to search for him, but she was unsuccessful.

My life growing up was extremely hard. It’s sculpted who I am today; a timid and quite jittery young man who gets really nervous and antsy when my eyes are mention or when threats are uttered.

People have always come and gone. They made things, living, hard. I even thought of giving up on everything a few times too. But I always had Hanji, Mikasa, Armin and even Petra, (albeit she wasn’t there all the time, she was still a damn good friend.)

So, coming back to the present and thinking on how Levi left. I wondered, would he just be another one? Just another one of those who just came and went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Again, thank you so much Nikki! I really appreciate what you do :3  
> I don't have a date to expect more, but it won't be soon. I am really busy; it's the last few weeks of school. Taster trips galore to colleges around the area (It's something i need to decide by the end of the year :L) oh, also my school is holding a music festival next week. And yayy! Two exams! (English and Music)
> 
> Until next time, stay sassy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi reminisces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys!  
> I present to you the next chapter woo~  
> Once again, thank you NikkiChan! My wonderful BETA reader! Seriously, I would be so lost without her :3  
> Anyway, less stalling and on with the chapter!

After leaving the café, I'm met with rain. I remember the fact I didn’t bring my car with me. I don’t care though.

Walking through the streets, a heavy sense of nostalgia sweeps through me. My mother had always loved the rain. There were many times where she would take me out for a walk in the rain. She loved the biting feel of the icy drops on her skin, so she never dressed up much when we went out in it. But she would always wrap me up in as much as possible. I would always ask her why she would dress me up so much. Her response was always the same; mother would give me a sad smile and tell me I would get sick.

I would think of things to retort back. But none of those thoughts were ever voiced; even at a young age I didn’t want to ruin the moment of serenity that would follow.

As we walked through the rain, mother would always carry me. Holding onto me tightly.

The walks were often through our own garden. Our house was huge, as was our garden, so they were usually long. My mother was a successful writer and pianist. Both her stories and music were full of passionate emotion. It’s something I still appreciate to this day. It's why I love ‘Rogue Titan’s’ stories so much; they remind me of my mother’s. So full of life. Although we were rich, neither of us acted it. We didn’t have a butler or endless maids. No, we had a single nanny. That was it. In truth, she was more like a grandmother rather than a member of staff. Our nanny would sit at the table during meal times and would voice her opinion.

Most rooms in our house were not used. They sat collecting dust as we didn’t entertain very much. Things were nice, peaceful.

I was home schooled, by grandmother. She was really smart as well as kind and gentle. I wasn’t a lonely child. Although my mother did work a lot, I would keep her company while she would work. I even helped out in a couple of her stories and compositions. Mother taught me how to play the piano. She also taught me English. How to write, read and speak. My mother is the reason I love books. The reason I love music, more so classical than any other style though.

She was my inspiration. As I was to her. She told me often she gained a lot of inspiration from me. And she had always loved my eyes, they reminded her of the weather she held so dearly.

One day we were walking hand in hand in the rain. I would have been about ten years old, too heavy for mother to carry. She fell. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. I knelt by her side, screaming for help. Luckily we weren’t far from the house. Nanny heard and we both took my mother back inside and nanny called for an ambulance.

My mother had cancer. She had known about it for years. When she was told about having it, originally the doctors only gave her about 18 months to live. But she went on and lived for a further five years. She passed away ten days after being admitted.

Every one of those days rained. It does surprise me how much rain the clouds can truly hold.

I remember sitting between my mother’s bed and the window. Neither of us would speak. For one, she was too weak, the cancer finally having taken its toll on her. And we both enjoyed the serenity that filled those moments as we both watched the rain and revel in the pitter-pattered sounds that would follow. I would feel a sense of warmth thinking about all of the times we spent together in the rain. I hope she did the same. I now understood the reason behind her sad smile whenever I had asked about being bundled up, for our walks. I also understood why she didn’t cover up; she was already sick. That and the fact she wouldn’t take things for granted any more. During my mother’s time in hospital, she recited her greatest inspirations in life. She had three favourites. Her main one was me. The other two were rain and eyes. She loved eyes. Mother explained that a person’s eyes held so many secrets. They held past memories, passionate stories, emotion. But most importantly, she believed that no two eyes were the same. Yes, they could have the same colours. But never the same origin. That no one could ever have seen the same as another.

I was glad that nanny let me take time out of schooling to stay with my mother; I got to be there for her to take her last breath. I know it isn’t exactly a nice thing to witness. She died smiling. Smiling because she knew her son was beside her. Her last breath was used to form my name and the last thing she saw were my eyes.

I opted to walk home from the hospital that day. It rained. But I didn’t cover up, I wanted to feel the rain on my skin. I wanted to feel what my mother felt. My house was so very far away from the hospital, but I walked it all. When I got back, I was greeted with an extremely concerned nanny. She placed us both in front of the lit fireplace in the library, hot drinks for us both. We did have heating, but it was never used; my mother loved fire and couldn’t pass up being able to use fireplaces.

Nanny asked me what was wrong. I gave her a sad smile as tears started to well up. She took me into her arms and held me tight.

6 years later I sold the house; it reminded me too much of mother. As grandmother and I packed up some belongings, I found some things of my mother’s. It was a box that read my name.

Inside there was a letter.

_My dear Levi,_

_If you’re reading this then I am no longer with you and you have decided to move on. I love you son, always have and always will. I’m sorry I never told you about being sick. But I wanted you to be carefree and not have to carry my burden. In this box there is every book I have ever written and every piece I have ever composed. Some are unpublished. You will also find a collection of photos of us both. All of them are my favourites. Use any of this how you will. You’re forever my inspiration, my love._

_I love you Levi._

-          _Your dearest mother._

I still have the box today, no one but me has ever seen the contents _._ It’s the thing I hold dearest to me.

Nanny and I moved into an apartment. Nanny passed away a year later, in her sleep.

Since mother had explained her inspiration behind eyes. The eye and everything surrounding it became an interest, a fascination of mine. I started to realise mine were more special than I thought.

I studied hard and landed myself a place at the top college in the country. Soon going onto studying ophthalmology in University. Here I am today, with a job that reminds me of my mother day in and out. I keep a cold expression at work, my emotion have dulled due to the harsh world we live in. But I always get sense of warmth when reminded of her.

I stopped in front of my apartment block, looking up. I blinked away the raindrops as I did so, pushing into the building.

With a _whumpf_ I dropped my dripping self on the sofa. My trail of thought turned from recalling my past to my present, to Eren. A sense of regret washed over me. I felt sorry for him, I really did. No doubt he is going to think me leaving was his fault. I reached for my phone, planning to dial his number. To apologise or at the very least say it wasn’t his fault. But my thumb just hovered over the call button. I threw it down onto the cushions and walked off to shower and change into some dry clothes. I settled down that night reading ‘Behind these Walls’.

The days that followed were nothing but the usual. People stayed out of my way and I got my work done.

I walked along my floor, stopping in front of my apartment. I fished out my keys and pushed them in, unlocking the door. Twisting the knob, I was about to enter my apartment, but the sound of a door opening and closing to my right made me look up.

It was Eren. He spared me a glance and headed towards the lift. Just as he was about to board, I called his name. From where I stood, I heard his breath hitch and he looked around to me as the doors closed, with him inside.

Entering my apartment, I quickly closed the door and slid down it. My head dropping into my hands. ~~~~

I didn’t get much sleep that night. I played around on the piano until around 4 in the morning. My apartment has soundproofing, so I can play as loud and as late as I want.

The next day started off anything but right. I was falling asleep whilst try to eat. That resulted in me scalding my hand with hot coffee. I even dropped the soap in the shower around ten times. Before I even set out for work today, I was done. So done.

I walked into my office, fell into my chair and sat there with my head cushioned with my hands. I didn’t have any patient’s until round one or two, so I decided to take a nap. Petra could always give me a bell if there was an emergency. Around midday there was a knock at my door, which woke me. It wasn’t Petra; she would normally call me if she wanted me. I wasn’t due a client either just yet.

I opened the door to find Eren. I was confused at first. But then I realised, he is probably here for his contacts. I walked passed him indicating he was to follow me to the store room. Flitting my finger across the shelves, I paused at the item I need. Removing a few boxes, I balanced them in my arms and proceeded to walk out of the room, where Eren waited patiently by the door. I took them back to my room, so I could write him another prescription.

But, as I was about to put the boxes on my desk, my tired self, missed the desk completely and they ended up on the floor.

As I quickly reached down for them. Something big and solid crashed into my head. It was Eren’s own. I cursed and sat down on the floor, rubbing the sore patch on my head which will no doubt bruise.

I looked up at Eren, to find his gaze already on me. We stared intensely into each other’s eyes for a moment before I caved and looked away, my eyes finding an interesting spot on the carpet. 

“I’m sorry, Eren.” I spoke at the floor.

“What for?” Eren asked. He knew what it was about, surely.

“Sorry for doing what I did. I’m also sorry for-”

A sniffling sound made my head shoot up. Eren was crying. “Eren? Are you okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you feel about that?   
> Comments are VERY welcomed, I read them all with a big grin on my face; all you people are lovely!
> 
> Many thanks to my WONDERFUL BETA reader! A superb job every time :3
> 
> Until next time, sleep tight!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOO! Good day, lovely people! I'm so sorry it took so long. 
> 
> Today is a very special day; It's my Birthday, woo! I have leveled up in the field of age!   
> Anyway enjoy mofo's!!

_Levi_

Eren turned his back to me, proceeding to sob into the crook of his arm.

I moved to rest my hand on his shoulder, but paused thinking over my action. Withdrawing my hand, I opted to clenching it into a loose fist that rested on my thigh.

The brunette continued to ignore me and cry, so I shuffled a little closer. “Eren…” I spoke softly.

I received no reply. Just the wet sounds of his heaving breaths. “Eren look, I really shouldn’t have… Ah. Dammit, Eren stop crying.”

Said crying stopped with a sniff. He gave his face a little rub on his sleeve, making me cringe a little. Eren lifted his head slightly, but he still faced away from me.

I reached out again, this time actually resting my hand on his shoulder. Eren tensed slightly under my touch and my concern grew. I crawled around to face him. Both his gaze and head were pointed down. Placing a finger gently under his chin, I lifted Eren’s face to look at me. His gaze was still averted down though. “Eren.” I warned.

Eren looked up at me, eyes puffy and bloodshot. The red made his eye colours stand more vibrant. I blinked in surprise. I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t wearing contacts. I suppose I haven’t actually had a good look at him until now though.

I thought for a moment.

A figurative light bulb sparked in my mind. Standing suddenly, I caught Eren by surprise and found him flinching back slightly. A soft groan left my lips as I stumbled slightly, my body regaining its sense of balance.

As I bent down to pick up the boxes splayed over the floor, I caught Eren’s gaze. Emotions swam heavily in his pools of water and golden sunshine.  I averted my own gaze as quickly as I could, proceeding with the task at hand.

Once all the boxes had been picked up, I placed them on my desk. Eren was still kneeling on the floor. I crouched down beside him, knees cracking as I did so. “Eren, I am just going to be down the hall. Stay here, okay?”

I didn’t wait for a response, standing; I proceeded to leave the room and headed to reception.

In the foyer, Petra sat behind her desk, filing her nails. Her eyes flicked up in my direction, instantly stopping with what she was doing to smile at me. “Hello Levi. Everything ok?”

“Well, actually Petra. I was wondering if you could reschedule all my appointments for today. Something has come up that I need to deal with.” I folded my arms, a small show of authority.

Petra disregarded my body language but agreed all the same. “Sure Levi, b-“

I started to hurry off, “You owe me though!” Petra shouted after me.

“Yeah, whatever.” I replied back mindlessly, waving my hand dismissively.

Walking back into the room, I noticed Eren was no longer on the floor. My heart started to race and then slowed just as suddenly once I realised he was sat in my chair. The look on his face was full of nerves and he refused to look up at me.

“Right, get your things. You’re coming with me.”

_Eren_

I looked up at Levi, my mouth hanging open in confusion and bewilderment. I stood up, not bothering to question him verbally.

Levi is the sort of person that won’t do anything unless it is necessary, so this had to be important.

Grabbing the boxes, I tucked them under my arm before following said man out of the room.

When we reached the foyer, I looked over to Petra. She was smiling and seemed to have some sort of ‘knowing look’ on her face. I don’t know what that was all about, I wasn’t prepared to question.

Walking through the doors, we were met with the cool air of late October. It wasn’t long after twelve, but the sun was already preparing to set.

We weaved in and out of parked cars before finally arriving in front of Levi’s. He drove a shiny black _Land Rover_ that was super sleek and stylish.

I pang of jealousy hit me; I’d love a car like this.

With a flash and a beep, Levi opened his car. I blinked. When did he take out his keys?

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I turned around to find Levi suddenly standing behind me. He took the boxes from under my arm and proceeded to throw them into the back seat of the flashy 4x4.

Levi made his way around to his side, hoisting himself up into the high driver’s seat of the Rover. The car was difficult to get into, even for me as I followed suit.

Seated and buckled in my hands rested on my knees, gripping them firmly as I looked straight ahead.

My nose started to run slightly so I sniffled. Something white was shoved in front of me, instantly. A tissue. I accepted it gratefully then proceeded to dab away at my face with it.

Once I was done, I scrunched it up and tucked it between my thumb and palm before dropping my hand back to my knees. Just in case.

Levi ignited the car and we pulled out of the car park.

We were quiet as Levi drove. Apart from the muted rumble of the engine the general sounds of traffic with the honking horns of angry drivers, the car was silent. More so when we left the city roads behind.

I started to worry as to where he was taking me. My hands growing tighter around my knees as my anxiety grew. My gaze strayed from their previous fascination to flicker in Levi’s direction. His concentration was solely on the road, so I took this as opportunity to map out every detail of his face. Not to be creepy or anything.

Levi must have felt me staring as he turned his own gaze unto me. I looked away red faced with the embarrassment of being caught.

Moving my hands from my knees, I tucked my right hand neatly between my knees and shifted my left to rest on the side of my thigh. Leaning back into the seat, I relaxed slightly. Being caught staring seeming to have released some of the strain built up. Soon my fingers started to move on their own, my index started to draw on my thigh in hypnotic patterns.

The soothing action matching up with the rumble of the engine lulled me to sleep.

A black abyss soon swirled into life as a scene was laid about before me. The place seemed oddly familiar; it was. It was the waiting room where Levi works. Walking around, I noticed someone sat in the waiting room. That person was me. I waved my hand into my direction trying to catch my own attention. But it didn’t work, all I did was look around the room, completely ignoring the wave I had given. I guessed I was dreaming.

Tears started to prickle at my other’s eyes, I watched as _I_ blinked them away. Not long after a door opened behind me. Both my dream self and I looked toward the one responsible for opening the door. It was Levi. I looked back at myself, judging my reaction. Dream me was sporting a light blush that could be seen from just under the sunglasses.

When Levi started to speak, I almost laughed at how ridiculous I had reacted. My breath hitched and the sunglasses I wore rose slightly; it wasn’t just jaw dropping, it was eye popping.

Black started to invade my vision again. It didn’t last long; a new moment appearing. It was on the same day, the same building but this time I was in his room. About to take my glasses off.

My own heart started to hammer and I wasn’t even the one taking them off. After taking the glasses off, I cringed slightly at my dream-self’s closed eyes. When Levi gave a huff, I opened them almost instantaneously.   

Time seemed to speed up pausing when Levi placed his hand on my shoulder. My poor heart didn’t have much time to rest before it sped up again. This time a sense of warmth washed through me with a little angst.

A sudden jump brought me to where when Levi left the room. Ah, suddenly I had a little time to think. Something seemed strange and I realised something; this dream was turning into a nightmare. I spotted the rather obvious boner that my dream-self was sporting. Feeling like I could cry, I covered my face with both my hands. When Levi returned I peeked through my hand barrier.

Then next thing almost had me in tears. Levi looked straight at my obvious state of excitement and smirked slightly. I dropped to my knees, face hot and heavy in my hands. Shaking the thought out of my mind wouldn’t work and I was so better off without this information.

Further time hopping dropped me into another dream situation. But this didn’t seem to be following what had happened. We were in the café, which I remember. But he wasn’t leaving abruptly after his taste of milkshake off my nose.

I discover that I am no longer viewing in third person and I’m sitting right in front of Levi. Said raven stares at me, starting to smile as he removes the digit from between his lips. Smiling as in an actual smile, not a smirk or anything of the sort. Levi shows off a full blown, million dollar smile giving me a little preview of the pearly whites that reside behind his lips.

Levi starts to lean in closer, gripping my shoulder in the process. Everything starts to piece together. My dream has only shown me the moments with Levi. Affectionate moments. Realisation hits as the last piece falls into place. That this dream was my subconscious telling me that I, towards Levi I…

_I like Levi._

It must be, no it _is._ It’s painfully true. I gasp as Levi’s lips are placed on mine, well dream Levi’s anyway.

Jolting awake, I hiss as my head hits the frame of the door it was previously resting on.

“Morning sleepy head, welcome to the world of the living.” Levi’s luscious voice begins.

I rub my eyes and blush as I my mind replays tiny snippets of the dream I just had, lingering longer on the last part… that kissed. My fingers are placed over my mouth and I feel no tingling. A small lick brings no taste. Disappointment starts to-

Wait. Did he say morning?! My eyes widen suddenly and I start to quickly scan the area. It’s dark. But then, it is practically winter, so there is no way of telling whether it’s morning or night. The rover’s clock said 18:00, so I relaxed a little. We had been in the car for the best part of five hours. Worry starts to curl its way into my stomach ~~a~~ little by little.

Levi lets out a little breathy chuckle. But says nothing.

“I suppose you’re wondering where I am taking you.” The raven situated next to me pipes up, a few minutes down the road.

A shrug was the only reply I gave.

Levi sighed. “We’ll be there soon.”

The tarmac road we were on soon turned into a dirt road. I was surprised, the drive up this road was relatively stable, despite the extremely uneven road.

Just as Levi said, we arrived soon enough. I only realised where we were when he parked up his car and started to get out. I followed suit and straightened out my clothes once I did.

We were in a small clearing, which seemed to be used as a car park. Two breaks in the trees led off in opposite directions, one being the dirt road we came from. The other a small path.

Levi walked off down the path and I stumbled after him. “These have grown into some big-ass trees since I was here last.” Levi said, looking up at said trees.

I wondered how long ago it was since he had been here last. My question went unasked as we reached another clearing.

This one was much, much bigger and had a lake stretching across it. As cliché is may seem, the lake looked like thousands of priceless gems sparkling away. Ghostly gems; the moonlight and night’s sky didn’t exactly provide much colour. Making it really eerie.

Goosebumps exploded across my skin as a bitter breeze picked up. Shivers followed soon after. Levi must have heard my chattering bones; a blanket was placed around us. I didn’t even notice he had it and I was walking behind him as well.

“Hey, brat. Why do you look so constipated?” Levi questioned, gaze burning into mine.

My face twisted even more, enticing a laugh from the elder. Not a chuckle, an actual laugh. The sound was so heavenly, something I could listen to until the end of time.

“The blanket was tucked into my jacket. It kept it warm.”

I nodded my head and snuggled further into the warmth. By warmth, I meant Levi.

We both looked rather contently across the lake in comfortable silence, seemingly forgetting everything. That was until Levi spoke first. “Actually, there’s something I have been meaning to get off my chest.”

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

_Ba-dum._

Levi’s words caused my heart to race.

He turned away from me for a moment and reached a hand up to his eye, taking something out. Levi looked back at me.

I swear my heart stopped, as did my breathing.

No way.

My hands flew up to my mouth as I gasped. Tears began to flow heavily.

_No way._

I looked at Levi and what looked back at me was not the Levi I had known. No, it was the most beautiful thing I had even seen.

Silver and Blue. Levi’s eyes are silver and blue. Stunning colours that fit perfectly together.

Hands came up to cup my face around my hands, a thumb brushing away my tears.

“L-Levi- Why didn’t- you tell me?” I said between sobs.

Said raven didn’t reply and opted to pull me into an embrace.

_Levi_

I didn’t know what to feel about Eren’s reaction. Happy, I guess. He didn’t push me away, or shout. So that’s got to be good right?

Right.

But I wasn’t done here. Oh no, I was far from done.

I softly pushed Eren’s shoulders back for him to look me in the eyes. My eyes. “You’re one of few people to even see _my_ eyes. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you. But I kind of only just decided whether I wanted to tell you or not, when we were both in my office.” Taking a deep breath, I gazed out onto the lake. “When my mother died, I vowed I wouldn’t let anyone see my eyes because they were so special to her. I guess I’m not breaking the vow at the moment.” Eren seemed to look slightly confused at my former statement. “Her ashes are scattered here.”

Normally I’m not a person who is affected by nerves; I just don’t get nervous. But what I was about to say had me feeling sick, like I was about to throw up.

As I opened my mouth to speak, Eren slipped in first. “Levi…” He spoke quietly. “Thank you.”

The moment turned tranquil. I’m not one to ruin tranquillity. So I figured that what I was about to say could wait. It was probably for the best anyway, give me more time to think.

We stayed by the lake for an hour longer before tiredness took over and we started our journey back.

Doors closed and heating on, Eren was out in a heartbeat. About an hour into the journey, I was starting to nod off. We needed to stop, as soon as possible. My attention was caught by my headlights flashing over a road sign. It advertised a service station that wasn’t far off.  Thank goodness. Although I was confused as to why I was so tired; it was only around seven or eight in the evening, not even that late.

Flicking my gaze over to Eren, I smiled warmly at his curled up body, just like a puppy.

I regained my stoic expression before shaking him awake. Wouldn’t want him to see me like that now would I?

Eren began to stir, complete with soft whines as he did so. Whilst Eren woke up, I was dying inside; kid was just so damn cute.

Cute?! Did I say cute? I meant vulnerable… No, I didn’t say anything. I just wanted him to wake the fuck up so we could both sleep.

“Huh, Levi? What’s up?” Eren asked in a softly groggy voice, if that was even possible.

“Brat, were pulling over at the next service station. For one I’m starving and two, I need sleep and I can’t imagine that sleeping in the seat of this thing will do your back any good.”

The brunette nodded and stretched out, squealing as he did so. I cringed at his popping joints. The sound always gets me.

We pulled off at the exit and I parked up as quickly as I could.

I was glad to see they had a 24-hour Marks and Spencers; there was no way I was even going to touch food from any of the fast food joints here. Who knows what spotty, greasy adolescent is touching your food. Who knows where their hands have been for that matter.

We checked in at the travel lodge first though. I asked for a room with two beds. But unluckily for us, they were out of those rooms due to them either being cleaned or hired. I was glad to hear they were cleaning the rooms, but not so glad they were out of the ones we wanted. Deciding to spare them hassle, we just took the room with a double. Nothing bad would come of it, right? I noticed that the receptionists stare lingered on us both, which I got a little suspicious at. I didn’t question it though.

Eren was half dead by the time we made it to the room. But he had enough sense to leave Hanji a message saying he wouldn’t be at work tomorrow. I was glad I was off tomorrow.

Leaving the room, I went to go buy food, whilst Eren lay spread-eagle on the bed. On the way past reception I enquired whether I would be able to use the kitchen or not. The lady was lovely, despite her slightly creepy lingering eyes, and agreed to let me do so. On the one condition that I kept it spotless. But that wasn’t hard for me to do anyway.

In the shop, I was surprised to see they had so many ingredients and that it wasn’t just full of fast food items. Grabbing the things I needed for a simple, yet tasty meal. I paid and made my way to the lodge’s kitchen where I started to prepare out meal.

Once finished, I threaded one arm through the shopping bags handles and picked up both plates.

My hands were full with food, so once I got to our room I had to kick the door. From the other side, I heard Eren letting out a muffled “Coming.”

The sight I was greeted with would have any sane person on their knees. Eren answered the door, clad in only a towel.

His sun-kissed skin was well defined with luscious muscles and what made it better was the slowly moving water droplets running down from his hair until it was soaked up by the towel clinging to his hips. The sight went straight to my cock.

Careful to not be seen sporting a boner, I pushed past Eren. The plates staying perfectly balanced on my fingertips.

Eren retreated to put on his clothes as I placed the plates down on the two person table, by the corner. We both took out respective seats. I took the bag off my arm and placed it by the side of me. I pulled out a bottle of wine, equipped with two wine glasses and cutlery that I may or may not have nabbed from the kitchen.

Eren picked up the bottle whilst I placed down our cutlery. Said brunette weighed the bottle in his hand then looked to me, accusingly.

“What? I like to drink whilst cooking. Anyway, I bought it.” I retorted.

I was given a smile as Eren began pouring into our glasses.

During our meal, Eren kept looking up at me. He kept doing so, each time smiling and he looked down to pick up another mouthful.

“What are you looking at?” I snapped in the end.

The brunette looked up at me innocently. “Your eyes are so beautiful.”

I blushed but then quickly realised that I hadn’t put my contact back in, shit. That it’s probably why the lady on front desk kept looking at me so much.

“Shut up.”

Eren let out a breathy laugh and we continued with our meals.

I ordered Eren to take everything back to the kitchen and clean them whilst I took a shower. He was quite reluctant to do so, but complied in the end.

Turning the shower on, I adjusted the temperature to a suitable one and got in. I looked down as the water cascaded along my body. This gave me flashbacks of the attire Eren wore whilst answering the door. Cursing the almost immediate boner I got, I switched the water to cold. But no matter how arctic the shower got, my burning need showed no signs of fading away. Damn Eren and damn his sexy body.

It’s not like I’m not hot; I am. It’s just that Eren is too.

Deciding that it won’t be willed away, I bring the temperature back up and snaked my hand down to grab my cock. Starting with a few fast and hard tugs, with a grunt at the pleasure, I rested my head on the showers tiled wall. My thumb started to tease the slit, before moving back to the shaft. I started dragging my nails over the sensitive skin before sensually rubbing the head. My free hand was used to stabilise me as I continued to jerk myself closer, the water drumming down around me. Further moans and grunts left my lips as I dragged the pleasure out.

My forehead pushed against the tiles as I used my supportive hand to tease my nipples, adding to the blinding pleasure coming straight from my cock.

“Eren…” I moaned out, a vision his splendid body filling my mind. And I was lost, coming hot and heavy onto the tiles of the shower.

As soon as it was over, I didn’t feel guilty. Nor did I feel dirty. I’m pretty sure I should have, considering what I actually just did. But I didn’t.

Finishing up in the shower, I made sure I scrubbed my mess away from the shower wall.

I dried myself and threw on my boxers; I wasn’t going to sleep in clothes.

Entering the main room, I noticed Eren relaxed on the bed, flicking through the channels on the TV. He turned to me and smiled. Now the guilt started, now I started to feel dirty.

But I pushed that aside and made my way around to the other side of the bed. “Did you do as I asked?” I queried, looking at Eren.

“The receptionist, who is a nice lady by the way, just told me to leave them in the sink and she’ll sort them out. She said she was on a night shift and it was just something to do.”

I really hoped he hadn’t come back while I was, you know? Whacking one out. If he had, I sure as hell hope these walls were soundproof. If not, I think I’d cry. But, he isn’t being weird with me, so I think I’m in the all clear.

“K’. Night then.” I uttered through a yawn as I turned onto my side, facing away from Eren.

“G’night.” He mumbled back mirroring my position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? What did you think?  
> A MAHOOSIVE Thanks to Nikki-chan for just being the best and loveliest BETA reader, ever!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tips hat*  
> HOWDY!  
> Back again with another update *listens to chorus of moans* ;-;
> 
> Thanks Nikki-chan, as usual. You're still as fab as always. Even through exams and assessments, she still manages to make me look less dumb and a decent writer :3  
> You're a darling, darling!
> 
> ~just to let you know~  
> I'll be tracking "fic: Our eyes" on tumblr if anyone would like to post something about it (which would be amazing!) also if you could tag maybe URL (Isyadelee) too. That's if you decide to grace me with a thought.

I woke to the smell of cigarettes and pulled a face as I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I got a shock when I realised I wasn’t in my room. More so when I turned to find a half-naked man sharing the bed. Squinting a little I made out the man to be Levi, my opt-

LEVI?!

Tumbling out of bed, I managed to hit my head on something and completely pull half the sheets off the bed. “Fuck!” I cursed aloud shuffling away from the bed.

Levi looked at toward the creased bed sheets though I could still see the slight blush he was sporting. I began to nuzzle my hand to trying to nurse the newly forming lump on my crown. My thoughts stuttered to a halt as I tried to figure out why I was in a strange bed with a moderately strange man.

“Don’t strain your brain too hard brat.”

My eyes narrowed as Levi looked up to me.

I gasped.

“Aaaand he remembers. What? Did you forget for a moment and think I’d gotten into your pants somehow?” I averted my gaze as the room became hot.

“Ha, you wish.” I mumbled under my breath, pushing my luck.

“What was that?” He snapped.

Standing up I sang a “Nothing~” before collecting my clothes. “You can stop staring at my ass too, Levi.” I cheekily said mid-bend.

“Now, why would I want to do that?” He answered playfully.

Smirking to myself, I gave my ass a subtle shake. _You wouldn’t_.

After finding my last article of clothing, a sock that had somehow made home under a chair. I walked over to the bathroom, adding a swing in my step as I did so.

I threw my clothes onto the floor, not bothering where, I locked the door. Expelling a sizable breath, I stalked over to the sink and turned on the cold tap. A refreshing slap to the face with said water was just what I needed to wake myself up further and get rid of any unwanted morning visitors. Which were prominent after seeing Levi’s completely toned body and sexy messy bed-head. How shameful of me. I suppose the makes us even though.

Dressing myself, I noticed a mark on my shoulder that looked a lot like a bruise. But I shrugged it off as an injury sustained in the night. I don’t know about Levi, but I knew I was a real thrasher in my sleep. Going as far as to give myself black-eyes and such. Which roused suspicion when I was still at school. I probably should apologise for any injuries I may or may not have inflicted on Levi during the night.

With a thud I plonked myself onto the lidded toilet, rubbing my face between my palms. I really didn’t know how to feel about Levi. Sure I liked him, in _both_ ways. But did he feel the same about me? I hope he did and kind of assumed he did. Especially when I heard him moaning my name the night before. Maybe I should confront him. About his feelings towards me, of course. There was no way would we have a conversation over the fact I had heard him wantonly moaning my name last night. That would just be embarrassing. For the both of us; I totally didn’t get hard over it and start palming myself, not be able to finish and completing the deed by sneaking into the toilet when Levi was asleep. And I really didn’t spill by seed moaning his name. Nope, that didn’t happen. _Not at all._

My contemplation was put on hold with a knock on the door. “Eren? Are you going to be long? I need to take a shit. Also I want us back on the road as soon as. Believe it or not, I’d like to do something on my day off, other than carting your ass around the place.”

I quickly left the bathroom, avoiding Levi’s gaze. “Give this room a little tidy while I’m in here.” He said before closing the door behind him.

I looked around the room questioningly. It didn’t look dirty. Yes there were pillows and blankets lay haphazardly around the bed. And also the barely used ash tray on the bedside table. Surely they’re things that can be cleaned by the well, cleaners. But I knew better than to go against Levi’s orders. That man was scarier than a corporal when need be.

Levi left the bathroom and the room as I was making the bed. I tried calling after him but he just kept on walking. So I rushed through the rest of the clean-up before speedily making my way down to his car.

Walking up to the 4x4, I could see Levi’s ass hanging out of the back seat as he reached in for something. I bit my lips at the sight because _damn_. I continued to walk behind up to the car until I stood behind Levi and his glorious ass. Leaning over I pinched at his hips. To which he yelped and thrust his hips back from my offending hands. He ground himself into my crotch.

I half moaned half squealed as I jumped back. Losing my balance, I ended up on my ass.

Levi whipped around and stared down at me anger, embarrassment eyes. “What the fuck… Jaeger?” His eyes widened when he realised it was me.

“S-Shit. I-I’m sorry Levi.” I stuttered, scrambling to my feet. I avoid his eyes as I run off.

I was glad I hadn’t handed in the room key yet, so I headed back to said room. Where I plonked down next to the bed, head in my hands.

Why do I always fuck things up? I thought back to the anger I saw in his eyes and a wave of angst washed over me. There’s no way he is going to like me now. No way.

I started to pull at my hair, angry tears building up in my eyes.

_Levi_

A madly irritating tickling sensation on my nose roused me for my sleep. But I just rubbed it away and began to doze off again. Until a breath through my nose brought it back. I opened my eyes to see Eren’s mop of brown hair nestled under my nose. Moving my face away, I noticed my arms and legs were wrapped around Eren. I smiled at our tangled limbs before proceeding to untangle them.

I moved over to where my clothes lay and I took out my pants. Which held a packet of cigarettes. I don’t smoke often but I always keep a pack and I light on me just in case.

I picked up an ash tray which I took over to the window. Laying down the tray, I cracked open the window before lighting one of the tobacco sticks. I inhaled a lung full of the smoke before blowing it out of the window.

Finishing the cigarette, I joined Eren back in bed. He had turned over to face me now, but was still asleep. His sleeping face was peaceful and beautiful. I really wished I could tell Eren my feelings towards him. Though he probably didn’t like me back, in that way. But, saying that… He _did_ pop a boner when we first met. So I hoped Eren at least found me attractive. That I could work with.

My eyes moved to Eren’s lips. They looked soft and plump. Probably nice to kiss. But I didn’t dare take one from him. I would at least like my first kiss to be with someone awake.

Yes I haven’t had my first kiss. I’m also still a virgin and I have never been in a relationship, even at my age. I have never really had the time for those things though. I was either studying or being my anti-social self. I haven’t had many friends either. In fact I could probably count the amount of friends I have ever had, on my both hands.

Instead on kissing Eren’s lips, I opted to kiss his shoulder. A soft slight one at first, to be sure I didn’t wake him. Then I went back for another. And another. Each kiss getting stronger and longer. Eventually when I stopped myself. I realised all the kisses had created a hickey.

Reaching my hand out, I was about to attempt to rub away some of the colour. But Eren started to whine and sit up. I only prayed that he didn’t notice.

When I was done in the bathroom, I left to my car. I didn’t tell Eren as I passed him, I thought it was quite obvious where I was going. But clearly not to him as he called my name.

It wasn’t important to tell him anyway. I was only getting some contacts, which I always kept in my car; you never know when you’ll need them. Better prepared than not.

I remembered that I kind of broke the promise I made for my mother. Yes I had been feeling quite guilty of doing so. But on the way to my car, I had the chance to think. The promise was pointless.

After all those years, it was now that I decide it was pointless. I mean, surely my mother would have wanted me to show-off what made me special. When she passed I was young and wanted something I solely shared with her (and nanny, of course). So that’s when I decided to hide my heterochromia. Soon it became an everyday occurrence so I never questioned the contacts.

I had been going to put in my contacts at the car, but now I’m not so sure. I thought about it for another moment before deciding against it. Instead I opted to collect Eren’s from wherever I threw them in the back seat, knowing surely he would want his. 

Unlocking my car, I opened one of the back seat doors. It was a still a little dark outside so I couldn’t see all too well in the car.

I leaned in and rummaged around on the seat. I checked the seat first and found they weren’t there. So they must have been on the floor. Checking the floor of the seat I was leaning on, they weren’t there either. Jeez, how strong did I throw?

Pushing my body in further, my fingertips found one of the boxes. I started to stroke it, in an attempt to pull it close enough to grab. Just as I was about to claim said box, my sides were pinched.

Being as ticklish as I am, I tried to evade the touch. Which regrettably was a thrust backwards on my part and a squeal from my assailant.

Ready to beat the shit out of whoever dared to touch me, I prepped a glare fit to kill my offender, anger eminent. But I couldn’t help the embarrassment at whatever noise that was. Also there was the shock that I felt when I turned around to find Eren was the one to do the deed.

I tried to shake off the anger. Responding before I could, Eren was on his feet and running away. Too shocked and embarrassed to call after him. I sat in the back of my car, dumbfounded and flustered. _Shit._

_Eren_

After about five minutes my phone buzzed in my pocket. I was about to ignore it when it buzzed again. Then again. And again. I realised it must have been a phone call. So I managed to yank it out of my pocket and swipe the green button. “Hello?” I answered groggily.

“Eren.” Levi spoke. “Where are you? I want to get going.” Without another word, he hung up.

I groaned and rubbed my face. Though I didn’t cry, I’m pretty sure my cheeks were flushed.

Levi didn’t sound angry on the phone. So I sucked it up and made my way back to his car.

I got into Levi’s car and buckled up without looking at him once. I could feel his eyes on me though. When I was done, he plonked a bag on my lap. “Here, if you spill anything I will not hesitate to end you.” Levi said stoically, as if these past couple of weeks had never happened.

I was neither glad nor disappointed about that.

We hit the road and Levi’s attention never strayed from it. I sat munching quietly on one of several breakfast bars in the bag. Joined with an apple, a sausage roll and a bottle of water.

The dash’s clock informed me that is was seven am. Which means we would get back around midday.

I occupied myself with the roads, passing scenery and occasionally my phone.

When we pulled into the clinic, I felt drained in more way than one. I was looking forward to crashing out in my own bed at home. We both got out of the car and I was about to head over to mine when something caught my arm. “Don’t forget your contacts.” Levi said indifferently handing me said boxes.

Smiling to him, I pulled away to head to my car. But again I was pulled back by the grip he still held on my arm.

“Eren…” Levi started, looking me straight in the eye. “I’m not angry.”

Inwardly cringing, I knew exactly what he was referring to. “What do you mean?” I asked, pointlessly.

“You fucking know what!” Levi snapped.

Taken aback, I swallowed thickly before replying. “Sorry.”

Levi clenched his jaw. “Stop fucking apologising too.” He took a deep breath. “Look, Eren. I really li-“

*RING*

*RING*

Levi cursed, patting his pockets. Once he found his phone he punched the answer button and grumbled sourly into the receiver.

“Hanji? What the fuck?!” I heard him seethe as I walked back to my car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'dya think?! I think it's a little rushed myself. But, what can you do?  
> Again, NIKKI YOU'RE MY BAE! :P
> 
> Until next time...


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-; I'm SOOOOOOO sorry for not updating sooner. This is so late. But there have been time issues with me and my BETA. School starting and everything. We have both been really busy. Anyway~ I really hope you enjoy this! It's been my favourite chapter to write so far!!! Also, the amazing [Kouji-Chan](http://kouji-chan.tumblr.com/)  
> did this stunning [art](http://kouji-chan.tumblr.com/post/97174872159/this-work-was-inspired-by-amazing-fanfic-our) inspired by Our Eyes! As usual, I'm tracking the tag 'fic: Our eyes' so if you have anything you want to share, I'd be delighted to see it!!! You can find me [here](http://isyadelee.tumblr.com/)  
> on Tumblr. Up for a chat and making friends. Maybe we can skype. I don't bite!!  
> This chapter is dedicated to Kouji-Chan because she is just AMAZING~

I didn’t wait hear what Hanji had to say, it was probably something pointless. So with a hiss into the receiver and a furious hang-up, my phone was back in my pocket. I looked up, hopeful that Eren hadn’t moved, but he was gone.

A deep sigh left me as I climbed back into my car. Where I rested my head on the steering wheel for a moment, composing myself.

A couple of breaths, I lifted my head, and ignited the car; the keys left there. Which I had totally forgot about. With a final deep breath, I shifted the clutch and reversed out of the parking space, going on to speed off into the street.

Pulling up to my apartment block and parking, I got out of my car. This presented the more persistent buzzing from my phone. I ignored it, wanting to get back to my flat as soon as possible. But as I was about to close the door, but something on the passenger’s seat caught my eye. That fucking brat left his phone. He’d _almost_ forgot his contacts, if it weren’t for me reminding him, he would have. I pocketed Eren’s phone and got out of my car.

With a click, the car was locked and my keys joined the phone in my pocket. I tightened my coat around myself. Using my arms to keep it in place, I started to retreat into the lobby.

Looking around, I realised it wouldn’t be long before the snow sweeps in. Despite it being the better half of twelve, there was still patches of frost. Which emitted opaque trails of vapour as they were close to being thawed.

Winter is definitely my favourite season. Even though there isn’t much rain. Snow certainly makes up for the lack of downpour. I find it really pretty, especially how it dances around in the air. Winter is such an elegant season. Of course you have the snow. But there is also the vapour that spirals up through the air with every breath you make.

I find it to be the warmest season too. The cold outdoors give you an excuse to bundle up and light the fire. It’s the time every one comes together. Even I have rarely spent a Christmas alone.

Nanny and I had moved into the apartment building around the same time Hanji did. She made it her personal goal to try and talk to her neighbours as much as possible. But I always tried to ignore her; I was a student at the time and I had to study for my University entrance exams. Hanji didn’t give up and would always talk to Nanny instead. They actually built up quite a close relationship. Nanny decided to celebrate our first Christmas here with a festive cup of hot chocolate. The drink was my favourite but I remember Nanny refusing to make it other than on Christmas/my birthday. Hanji had left around midday; she had somewhere else to be. But she watched me open my presents before leaving. The one she gave me for my birthday was a picture she took of the three of us. Well I say the three of us, but actually it was of Hanji and Nanny posing in front of a studying me. My brows furrowed in concentration while Nanny and Hanji are throwing peace signs with big cheesy grins. It’s one of my favourite pictures to be honest. The other present was a leather-bound box; she’d found out I like to have keepsakes. But Hanji used to complain they would get ruined just ‘shoved’ in my drawer. That was the first time I hugged Hanji.

Years later, when Nanny died, Hanji and I were both distraught. This caused us to get closer as neighbours and actually become friends, even though I would never openly admit the latter.

The Christmas after Nanny’s passing, Hanji surprised me with a visit. Where we sat and drank hot chocolate, complaining that it was nowhere near as nice as Nanny’s. She watched me open my presents again before leaving around the same time.

The year after the same happened. But when Hanji was about to leave Erwin visited with cake.

Erwin and I met at University. He was a guest lecturer for a couple of months in my classes. I guess he took a fancy to me; he got my number and invited me out for dinner. We _tried_ a relationship at one point. But after holding hands and hugging felt too weird, we agreed to be friends. We didn’t even kiss.

This became a yearly tradition. Hanji would spend the morning with me. Then Erwin would come over where we would have some birthday cake and maybe some leftovers made by Armin, his boyfriend. Then in the evening I would sit reading in front of the fire. So yeah, I always liked winter.

The three of us are really close. So it was quite a shock when Hanji told me Eren was her childhood best friend when I’d only just met him just over a week ago. It also surprised me how easily I warmed to him. Considering it took Hanji a couple of months to get me to even acknowledge her. Just goes to show how taken I am with Eren.

Stepping away from my happy memories, I stepped into the warmth of my apartment block. Nodding to the receptionist, I tried to push everything down to appear normal. No doubt when I get upstairs Hanji will be pestering me so I really didn’t need another person questioning me in my current emotional state.

The heels of my shoes click along the marble flooring. Yes the floor was marble. Sina towers was a very sought after place to live. But a lot of people couldn’t afford it. Nanny and I used a little of the money from selling our house to buy a place. We both wanted to spend as little of Mother’s money as possible. But when we started looking and Nanny saw the state those places were in, she would always turn her nose. Nanny was the reason I am so particular about cleanliness today. Everything I did resulted in scrubbing my hands to death. On the weekends I spent time helping her to clean. So we settled on Sina towers because it’s so damn clean. But expensive. Hanji’s apartment was bought for her by a rich uncle of hers; she would _never_ be able to afford just one month’s rent. Never mind _buying_ an apartment.

I called for the elevator and waited in front of the metal doors, foot tapping.

When it arrived, my heart started to speed up. I really wasn’t looking forward to seeing Hanji when I go up to our floor. No doubt she is camping outside of my door. But I was also looking forward to being back in my apartment. Maybe I can just escape Hanji somehow and crawl into bed.

Oh who am I kidding? Hanji will never let me go. She is the type of person who will not let go of this sort of situation until there is a firmly fixed. A thing I hate, yet love about her.

The elevator music and a few positive thoughts on Hanji were enough to lessen the speedy thrumming of my heart.

*DING*

The steel doors opened and I didn’t even have a moment to think before Hanji had wrapped herself around me shouting “LEVI!”

My eye twitched slightly. I was still angry at her and I found that anger increasing the longer she kept a hold of me. “Get off shitty glasses” I hissed, trying to pry myself from her arms.

She let me go and I just walked straight past her, not sparing her a glance. Though I didn’t look at her, I knew she looked dejected and sorry. Hanji had been at the receiving end of my anger far too many times. You would think she’d be used to me blanking her, but every time hurt her like the last. I don’t like hurting Hanji or anyone that matter. But I _do_ need time and space for myself.

When I took my key out and began slotting it into my door, I could hear Hanji moving around behind me. A quiet sniffling sound coming from her direction. She was crying. I felt really bad for making her cry. But, I need time alone. Hanji’s a smart girl, she knows this.

I unlocked my door and let myself, just myself, in, making sure to lock it behind myself.

My back hit the door and I slid down it as a sigh left my lips. “Fuck...”

After several minutes of sitting behind my front door I pull myself up and pat my clothes off, making a mental note to clean out around the front door soon.

Stripping off my coat and hanging by the door, deciding that before I was going to do _anything_ I was going to shower.

Heading into the bathroom, I shed the rest of my clothes, tossing them into the hamper before continuing to my goal. As my bare feet padded along the chilly tiles, sparks of cold shot through each foot on contact.

I slid open the shower door. Leaning over the shower’s threshold I adjusted the knobs before pulling back quickly. I barely avoided the initial artic spray of the shower.

While I waited for the shower to run warm I pulled myself out a couple of fresh towels and set them to the side. A hand under the water deemed it safe to enter. Closing the door behind me as I slipped in, a groan left my lips. There was nothing better than my shower.

I cupped my hands, and spilled the contents onto my face.

With water in my eyes, I blindly felt out for my shower gel. It wasn’t hard to find as having always left it in the same place and it having such a distinct bottle shape. Popping the cap, I also reached out and removed the mesh loufa hanging around the shower dial. I squeezed a little gel onto the ball before capping and replacing the bottle.

The hand that previously held the bottle rubbed the gel into the mesh, creating suds. Rubbing the suds over my body, I relished in the cool tingle and the distinctive minty smell it gave. This shower gel was by far my favourite. It’s the only one I buy really. 

After scrubbing all over, I shampoo and condition my hair with divine smelling lotions which actually do good things to your hair.

I shut the shower off and my feet are reunited with the chilly bathroom tiles as I step out. I towel myself moderately before wrapping it around my waist. I tuck the corner in and walk out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

I open my wardrobe and pick out some grey lounge pants that hang from my hips and a black tank. Slipping my feet into slippers, I walk into the living room where I drop myself on the sofa, throwing up my legs.

The books I bought a week ago lay out on the coffee table. I pick up one on the eye and start to read from where I left off.

An hour on, I was starting to grow tired of the book. So I exchange it for reading some more of ‘Behind these Walls’. Well, no so much a case of continuing to read it, more like actually finishing it off. With only the better part of 50 pages left to read. I was a little sad over finishing it since the next volume probably wouldn’t be out for a while. I sighed at the thought but read on anyway.

The main protagonist in the book reminds me greatly of Eren. A troubled past and possessing a strong resolve with the right incentive.

The remaining pages are taken down in no time and I find myself reading the Authors note. Hopeful it will provide some sort of a hint as to when the next volume would be coming out. But it’s nothing more than an overview on a particularly unusual day ‘Rogue Titan’ had with one of his closest friends, who seemed like a real character, similar to Hanji I mused.

I traced my fingers over ‘Rogue Titan’s signature before closing the book and standing up. ~~I~~ Stretching out my limbs and cringing at the popping joints, I look for my phone and find it’s not by me.

I walk into my bedroom; not there. It wasn’t in the bathroom or any of the clothes in the hamper either. Then I remember I left it in my coat pocket.

Fishing around in one of my pockets, I pull it out and unlock it to check for any notifications.

There are a couple of missed calls one from someone named… Mikasa? I don’t know any Mikasa’s.

That’s when I realise the phone isn’t mine. It is, in fact, Eren’s. The background being a ‘selfie’ of him and Hanji. It’s also when I realise he has no password on his phone. How careless.

I decide to head over to Hanji’s to hand her the phone. But I couldn’t waste the opportunity of an unpinned phone that didn’t belong to me.

I pulled up the camera app and switched it to front camera.

Looking up into the lens I bite my lip and sexily.

*SNAP*

Then a pout.

*SNAP*

A couple of funny ones.

*SNAP. SNAP. SNAP*

Then _many_ sexy ones.

*chorus of SNAPS*

And finally a nice one of me smiling.

*SNAP*

I let out a laugh as I look back at the pictures. But my laughter dies out as I start to get all flustered and nervous thinking about the reactions Eren would make. I swallow the lump in my throat and shake away the worry, proceeding to change his ringtone.

My thumb hovers over the gallery app. I contemplate whether I should open it or not. I ultimately decided to look. If there are things people aren’t supposed to see then it is Eren’s fault for not putting a pin on his phone.

When I saw the first few pictures on Eren’s phone, I almost dropped it. They were of us… in bed. I was asleep and Eren was kissing my cheek and blushing profusely. My breathing hitches and halts and my throat goes dry. I quickly scrolled past it to a picture that was more or less the same. Except Eren was smiling rather than kissing my cheek. Said cheeks continued to heat up the more I thought about it.

I didn’t know what to feel about those photos. What I did know was that if I looked at them more, my cheeks would melt. Probably due to embarrassment.

The next few photos were of the lake and he even sniped one of me. I smiled at the thought but was a little pissed that he took it without permission. It wasn’t even a nice photo of me either. I looked vulnerable and somewhat lost. Also you could slightly see the silver of my irises.

I swiped even further and was met with trees and some nature shots. One that followed was of Eren with his arm around a small blonde boy. Erwin’s boyfriend. My brows knitted in confusion. Then relaxed once I realised Erwin was his previous ophthalmologist and I hadn’t even considered the fact they could have already been friends.

Small world we live in.

There were a couple of selfies that followed those. In them, he had in his contact, but was smiling that million dollar, killer smile of his. My heart fluttered slightly, before settling as I looked closer at them. There was seemed to be something odd about them. Eren looked like he was hiding something.

After a couple of more photos there was yet another picture of himself. But this time he wasn’t wearing a contact. You could see his heterochromia fully. I would have loved the picture if it wasn’t for the pain evident in his face. Knowing Eren, I knew his pained face lay blame towards his heterochromia.

I really wish I could say that I empathise with him. But I was never really bullied in general. Let alone tortured over my eye colour. When I say tortured I’m probably not even exaggerating. Children and teenagers can be relentless. You also have the people that don’t like difference. All I can do is sympathise. Which I don’t really like to do in any situation. I don’t know, sympathy doesn’t just feel right. I mean I don’t know what they’re going through. If you want to make someone feel better, make them feel better by ignoring why there sad. To me sympathy is like looking down on someone, in a way. If they’re down. Buy them an ice cream.

Pain and sadness is even evident in Eren’s eyes. Though the dazzling colours are breath taking. There is a sheen to them. As if he were going to cry. That did bad things to my heart. I really hate seeing Eren suffering. Especially if the reason is of something so beautiful and so unique he possesses. My heterochromia doesn’t bother me. In fact I love it. I love being different. My mother did too, she would never change me for the world. I can say that proudly.

I pass more and more pictures. Varying from selfies to pictures with friends or trips out. Then there’s one that catches my eye again. Eren is holding the first volume of ‘Behind these Walls’ and he’s… kissing the cover? It’s a little strange. But I get a little sense of happiness that he is a fan of the series too. It’s another thing we have in common.

There wasn’t many pictures after that. Some from days out and even a few funny ones of Hanji, which I had a laugh at. In one, Eren was splayed out on the floor, surrounded by beer bottles. In nothing but his underwear. The fading heat returns to my cheeks as I blushed slightly.

Then I reached the end of his photos, which was a little disappointing; I was having fun there. Even though I feel a little like a stalker for going through his photos.

I exited the app and just time; the phone turned off in my hand. Its battery died. Stuffing it into the pocket of my joggers I unlocked and left my apartment.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Hanji opened the door in an instant and I swear she almost ripped the thing off its hinges. “LEVI!” She said, pulling me into a hug.

I smiled and leaned into it. No matter how angry I get with Hanji, I can never stay mad at her.

We pulled apart and I got a good look at her. She had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy. Guilt flashed through me, but I didn’t let that show.

Remembering why I was here, I took the phone out of my pocket and held it out for to her.

“What’s this?” Hanji asked.

“Eren’s phone.” I replied.

Hanji didn’t even try to question why I had Eren’s phone. She knows Eren better than me. So she obviously knows how forgetful and clumsy he is. She reached out for the phone, but instead taking it, she wrapped her hand around my wrist and pulled me inside. Hanji slammed the door closed and locked it, trapping us both inside. I inwardly cursed to myself; how did I not think Hanji would do something like this.

“Talk.” She demanded, tone was strict and held authority.

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “You making tea or do you want me to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd you find it? Again me and Nikki apologise greatly! We won't let it get this late again, I promise. A big thank you to Nikki for doing this. As usual, you're fab! <3  
> Don't for get to comment; it makes me happy!!  
> P.S. still up for a chat?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLAAA!   
> So sorry for this being so late ;-; there's really no excuse. But at lest it was quicker last time. I hope this clears up some questions you have. If you have any more, don't hesitate do drop me a message on here or tumblr where you can find me [HERE!](http://isyadelee.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Again, a MASSIVE thank you to [Nikki-chan](http://otakunikkichan.tumblr.com/)  
> I really could do none of this without her!  
> MOVING ON!! I hope you enjoy :3

It was a given that I’d end up making the tea in the end.

I’m pretty sure Hanji would have set fire to something.

I placed Hanji’s heavily sweetened tea down in front of her, on a coaster. Setting mine down, I took a seat.

“Talk” Hanji repeated, gaze expectant and firm.

Sighing, my eyes dropped and I rubbed the wrist she’d held in vice-like when pulling me inside. “Hanji, it’s not much, it do-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Levi!” Her voice sharp as she cut me off. “It matters if it means you’re angry and ignoring me.” There was a slight tremble in her last word. Eyes flickered up to lock with Hanji’s slightly glassy ones.

“Look Hanji I-“

“No, Levi!” She cut me off again, glassy look vanishing and being replaced with steel. “Just tell me. Please”

I repressed a sigh before speaking again. “Shitty glasses, if you would just listen for a god damn minute instead of cutting me off you would have found out I was beginning to tell you.”

Hanji blinked, then smiled before freezing, smile fading as her mouth dropped open.

“Levi?” She was leaning forward now, face unsure. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

_Ah…_

Hanji’s eyebrows knitted and she got up, eyes sharp as they examined me. I could practically hear the cogs turning in her head. “Has Eren seen this? Are those contacts? Are you mocking Eren?” Each question drew Hanji closer, her anger growing and drowning out any confusion. It was like she had stabbed me and each question was a twist of the knife. Yeah, that hurts. I couldn’t believe Hanji thought so little of me, that I would do something as low as that. I can be an asshole, but even I know what’s out of line. Hanji opened her mouth preparing another onslaught of questioning attacks. I raised my hand, stopping her before she could even utter a single syllable.

“Stop fucking jumping on me and listen will you?!” I bit out.

Hanji clenched her jaw and fixed me a sceptical glare.

“Thank you…” I huffed out. “Anyway, Eren does know and no they’re not fucking contacts. And how fucking dare you imply I would do something so cruel as to belittle and mock a person who clearly has self-esteem issues.  Do you think I would ever drop so low as to do that to someone I care about?” I hissed through gritted teeth, eyes dropping.

I stared down at my clenching hands, expecting some remark from Hanji. But she was oddly quiet, the room growing unnaturally silent. So much so, you would hear a pin drop.

I flicked my eyes up with my head still down, confused. I was sure Hanji would have had at least one thing to say.

Hanji’s state of wide eyes and slack jaw had me looking up properly; she looked completely shocked. “What?” I grunted out.

“You,” Hanji breathed, pointing a finger at me. “Did you just say you cared about Eren?”

My throat caught as I realised what I just said. “Hanji, wait. I didn’t me-“

Hanji recovered instantly and gave me a face splitting grin. “Levi!!” She said suggestively, eyebrows wiggling. I was thankful she wasn’t beside me; if I was, she’d be prodding me in the side with her elbow.  

“No Hanji-“

“How long Levi? Does he know? Have you told him? Do you love him? Come on Levi, tell me. TELL ME!” Hanji cut in again, voice resembling that of a child asking their mother for sweets. She closed the distance between us in a blink and took my hands, sitting down next to me.

I sighed and tugged my hands free. I rubbed my temples in irritation, knowing I wouldn’t be able to talk my way out of this, not when she was practically glowing. So I did the best thing I could think to do to save my ass; I stood up and made leave.

Hanji shot up straight away, calling after me. Noticing that I was just ignoring her shouts and getting closer to the door, Hanji sprinted for it. She managed to wedge herself between me and the door before I could make my escape. I clenched my jaw, not saying a word and patience thinning as I waited for her to move. If it were anyone else blocking the door, I honestly would have knocked them out. But this was Hanji and I just couldn’t do that to her.

Realising I wasn’t going to stay, Hanji eventually stepped out of my way. But she didn’t seem happy to. I could just hear the frustration in her heavy breathing. Ignoring her sulking, I brushed past her and left the apartment.

Hanji followed me out in silence, and I could still feel the pout on her lips as she walked behind me. Which was strange for her. She must have been waiting to see if I would change my mind and decide to spill everything to her. Which was the _last_ thing I was going to do now.

I closed my door, shutting Hanji out and locking it behind me. I contemplated whether I should get food. But my lack of appetite made the decision and I went straight to my room instead. I dropped down on the edge of my bed and the sudden need to sleep overwhelmed me. My eyelids kept dropping and my movements became stiff as I tried to change for the night. Resulting in me only taking of my pants before I gave up and crawled under the duvet.

In the morning I would probably regret not washing up or brushing my teeth. However, there was no way I could’ve managed either considering I was out like a flash as soon as my head touched the pillow.

To be honest, I was sort of grateful that I was as tired as I was; it meant that my mind didn’t have a chance to think things over while sleep caught me.

I dreamt of nothing during. Well, as far as I know anyway; if I did, then I couldn’t remember it.

When I woke the next morning, I felt disgusting. My mouth welded together as a result of not brushing, my skin dirty from not washing. And then the groggy feeling that comes after sleeping like the dead.

I want to spend all day in bed. Not because I was tired or that it was cold outside and it was cosy and warm in here. Well it was, but that wasn’t the reason. It’s not like I can stay in bed though; I _had_ missed the past couple days of work and I would already have a fucking mountain’s worth waiting for me. So there was no way I could miss _another_ day of work.

Pulling myself out of bed, I begrudgingly went about my usual morning routine and got ready to go to work. My head was pounding with a headache that will probably remain all day, much to my displeasure. No amount of pain relievers would be enough to shift this pounding pain.

I knew I was going to be in a piss poor mood today. I had a small sense of pity for those who were going to be on the wrong end of an outburst. Which was bound to happen on multiple occasions during the day.

The weather outside is a light grey, the kind where you think it’s going to rain, but it won’t. I really wish it was raining, it’d help calm my agitation. I don’t know why I’m so annoyed, but I can’t shake it, I just am. Maybe I’m still sour over Hanji interrupting me with Eren. Maybe I’m still irritated over Hanji’s persistent questions. Maybe I’m just angry at myself. Maybe I’m annoyed that I _almost_ told my feelings to Eren or it could be from the fact I slipped up around Hanji and said I cared for Eren. Don’t get me wrong, I do. I just don’t want anyone finding out.

Walking into office, I am met with Petra’s cheery face. Normally it would be a great start to my day, to see her beaming smile. But this morning it just seemed to add to my shitty mood.

“Hello Levi!” She greeted me in her usual spritely tone.

My eye twitched and I let out a rather anti-social grunt as I stalked past. I didn’t have to look back to know she’d given me a concerned look.

The rest of my morning followed suit, being rather shit. Particularly when an annoying kid came in, shouting and generally being loud. I ended up shouting at the kid, making him cry. Which just made things even worse; when kids cry, they scream like a fucking banshee. His parents glared daggers at me but didn’t say anything, they just dragged him out.

I was thankful that I didn’t have many more patients that morning and thankfully, they were only irritating at most. And although that brought on _many_ sarcastic comments, I did apologise to them in the end. They didn’t do anything to deserve them after all, it wasn’t these patients fault I was in such a mood. So I felt bad for being horrible to them.

My lunch break had finally rolled around and I was thankful I was about to get a ‘well-deserved’ break. Well that was what I hoped for. But when I saw Petra heading towards me in the break room, a determined set to her face. I knew there was no break waiting for me.

“And what is wrong with you?” Petra demanded, slamming her hand down on the table. For a little, sweet looking woman, she can be quite scary. I kind of feel sorry for Auruo or anyone that happened to get on the wrong side of Petra. And at the moment, that was me. “I’ve had lots of complaints about you this morning. What on earth are you thinking?!”

“Nothing, Petra.” I said dismissively, slightly sarcastic. I swirled my coffee cup, looking at mini tornado it was making   

Petra clenched her jaw. “Why do you always push everyone away?”

“Oh, _I don’t know_. Maybe because I fucking hate everyone? And stop talking like you know or understand me. Because you fucking don’t. None of you know the first fucking thing about me.” I bit back, not thinking as I spoke.

Petra looked taken aback, pain and sorrow evident in her face. “L-Levi… We just want to help.”

“Help what?! Help the fact I’m alone? Help the fact no one loves me? Help the fact I’m a fucking asshole? Newsflash Petra! I can’t be helped. I have lost every single person I have ever loved.” I shot out of my chair, hands slamming down on the table. “I’m an unloved person who would just be better off dead.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“Levi…” Petra said softly, moving to place a hand on my arm. Tears gathered in her eyes.

I knocked her hand away from me, a clear signal to stop. “Don’t Petra. I don’t want your sympathy,” I said in slight disgust. I left the room.

I finally snapped. It had been years since I had expressed a single emotion, and now the floodgates had been opened by my pissy mood.

Reaching the solitude of my office, I locked the door behind me and fell into my chair. I linked my fingers and cradled my face in them. I took deep breaths to calm myself and reduce my racing heart, which was still running on adrenaline from snapping at Petra.

_Eren_

I shakily wipe the back of my neck as my customer leaves the shop in irritation.

“What’s the matter, Eren? You have been completely out of it today. I have never seen you make so many mistakes… Or handle customers like _that_.” Hanji asked bounding up to me, gesturing to the exit.

“Nothing, Hanji.” I blatantly lie.

Hanji flicks my ear and I flinch away. Rubbing said ear, I give her a questioning look.

“That’s for lying to me. Now come on Eren, tell me what’s bothering you.”

I sigh, knowing there is no way I was going to get out of this. She’s as persistent as a fly on shit. I lean in close to whisper into her ear. “I-I… I like Levi.” Pulling away I could tell I was blushing madly because my cheeks were scorching.

“I so fucking KNEW it!!” Hanji shouted, causing a few people in the shop to turn their heads and me to flinch again. “Sorry” she insisted, a wide grin unmoving from her lips.

Eying Hanji, I realise she isn’t going to continue. “So what? Is that all you’re going to say?”

She looked at me quizzically. “Why? What did you think I was going to do? Play match maker?”

I nodded, “Something like that.” Hanji smiles more genuinely this time before she wanders off. Probably to go tidy up the shelves or see if anyone needs ~~her~~ help; Hanji is a really fast and efficient worker so she’s probably done all of her work and is bored right now.

I begin to idly play with a piece of loose plastic hanging off the counter edge. The shop isn’t very busy at the moment so I dig my hand in my pocket to fish out my phone, to pass the time with a game. After checking all pockets three times over, I realised that I don’t actually have it, and that I don’t remember having it when I woke up or even yesterday evening. I figure I must have left it in Levi’s car yesterday. 

“Hanji” I call out.

 “Yes~” Hanji sings as she emerges from behind a bookshelf wearing a freaky look, which looks creepy as fuck. No matter how long we have known each other. It seems the faces she pulls just get weirder and weirder.

“D-Did you talk to Levi yesterday?”

Hanji adjusts her glasses, the light catching them as she did so. “Yes, I did. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I think I left my phone in his car yesterday. Did he say anything about it?”

A thoughtful look masks Hanji’s face as her gaze is cast upwards and her index finger is placed on her chin. Hanji grins even wider than before. She looks like she is up to something, but then again, when isn’t she. “You know what, I think he did. If I remember correctly he said he still has it. Something about not trusting me with it.” Hanji lets out a breathy laugh “I don’t know why he would think that though.”

“Ah, thanks Hanj. Do you mind if I go get my phone on my lunch break then?”

“Do whatever you want.” She waved off before retreating back behind the bookshelf.

_Levi_

I hand over the correct change before picking up the newly purchased flowers. Roses to be specific. Red ones to be more so.

My conscience had gotten the better of me and I caved under the pressure, buying Petra apology flowers. I really shouldn’t have freaked out on her like that, no matter how frustrated or angry I was.

I discovered it’s really awkward to buy roses for someone you have absolutely no interest in dating. Even more so when said person has a fiancé.

Why did Petra’s favourite flowers have to be fucking red roses? All the way back to the office people kept looking at me as I was someone’s sickly sweet partner. When in reality, I’m the complete opposite and these flowers are an apology for being a dick.

Walking back into work I made my way up to the front desk, not sparing anyone a glance. Even when I knew people were staring.

When I got there, Petra was looking the other way. I cleared my throat awkwardly and she turned around, a smile set on her lips. “Hel-“ Petra’s smile died and turned into a scowl when she realised it was just me. “Oh, what do you want?” She said in a clipped tone.

“Look, Petra. I’m really sorry. About before…” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling ridiculous. “I didn’t mean any of it. Sorry. Really.” I held up the flowers, a crooked smile playing on my lips.

Petra looked really taken aback. “L-Levi…”

I handed her the flowers and gave her a hug over the counter. Petra smiled softly and gave me a peck on the cheek.

We stood there smiling at each other for a moment.

“Levi…” I heard a familiar, masculine voice say.

I whipped myself around to find Eren standing a few feet in front of me. My smile grew more and I stepped toward Eren. The sharp sound of skin hitting skin echoed through the lobby of my workplace.

My hand went up to cradle my stinging cheek as I stared wide-eyed at Eren.

“F-Fuck you Levi!” He said, his eyes full of pain and anger. Eren stormed out, not bothering to explain himself or look back.

I turned to Petra and we both exchanged bewildered looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO~ What did you think? Again thank you so, so much Nikki.   
> I don't know when the next chapter will be out and I haven't even started on it *-* I'm sorry! I have been SO busy with these stupid Pre-mock exams we're doing. Also, I'm busy EVERY weekend for the next several weeks. Meh. I'll try as much as possible to get it done asap.
> 
> Until next time, stay fresh!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG! I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in so long. Went through a rough patch with my writing and there was also the fact me and Nikki were SO busy, with exams and all ;-;  
> But HERE! It's finally out! ENJOY :D

I stood there in shock, watching Eren’s back disappear. Rooted to the spot, I made no move to stop him. A move I deeply regret.

“Levi?” Petra breathed.

Her whisper snapped me out of my shocked haze. I brushed past Petra, heading for the safety of my office.

I slipped in and closed the door quietly behind me, locking it.

Letting out a shaky breath, I slid down the door. Fingers finding hair tugging harder with every inch my body slumped closer to the floor.

Yet _another_ thing I _had_ to go and ruin.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them, keeping them in place. ~~~~

Dropping my head against my knees, I heard soft footsteps stopping in front of my door. Not a moment later equally as light knocks sounded through the door. “Levi?” Petra inquired. She tested handle and found it locked.

She didn’t leave or bang on the door and demand entry. Like any other person would have. No, that’s not what she did.

A faint thud and the sound of rustling informed me that Petra had taken a seat in front of the door too. “You care about him.” Petra stated simply.

A surprisingly comfortable silence followed her statement. She was right after all, I do care about Eren. But there’s nothing I could do now. Everything is ruined and it’s all my fault. I sighed and denied what I knew was truth. “I do not.” I said, voice muffled but calm.

I heard Petra shift when I spoke. “Levi… That’s not true. If neither of you cared for each other, neither of you would have reacted how you did.”

I gave Petra a sceptical grunt.

We sat quietly for a further ten minutes before Petra began standing up. “Don’t give up on him Levi. You two deserve each other. Please, _please_ talk to him. It’s just a misunderstanding, and talking to him _will_ make it better. Trust me. Also… your eyes are stunning.”

Even after leaving, her parting words stayed. Replaying in my mind. I had completely forgotten that this is the first time I had gone without my contacts. But, regardless, I don’t deserve Eren. I’m broken, he wouldn’t want me. Who would?

I lifted my head up from my knees, revealing a damp patch remained where my face was. A hand touched my cheek and came away shiny with tears. I grimaced and rose to my feet. ~~~~

Plucking a tissue from its box, I wiped my fingers on it, then moving to dab my face and pants. Neatly folding the tissue, I threw it in the direction of the bin.

For the rest of the day, I had little to no drive to work. Normally I enjoyed my work. But today I just wanted to go home and sleep. I kept conversation with patients at a minimum; it was hard enough trying not to break again. Let alone striking up a conversation with people that know absolutely nothing about me. People that threw me questioning and curious gazes as soon as they caught glimpse of my eyes. Well, I don’t blame them really. But, yeah. I was in a really low mood.

Thinking about it, it’s better for Eren to stay away and out of my life. I’m like a walking bad luck charm. He deserves so much better than me. I’m a broken man. No one wants something broken.

When the end of my shift rolled around, I left as quickly as I could. Normally I’d wait for Petra to pack up and we’d walk to our cars together. Our walks were normally in a companionable silence. I myself not big on words and Petra preferring the quiet anyway. It was pleasant. Simply walking to our cars together for the sake of safety. Considering most days when we get off, it’s pitch black outside. Working hours were often long working at the centre and this time of year, daylight was short. Not that I’m complaining; it’s not like I have anything to do outside of my job. Other than clean, of course.

As soon as I got home, I set out to run through my usual routine. Shower, food, some work, and then sleep. It was a routine I used to preach before a certain brat showed his face and messed everything up. But now that he’s not in my life anymore, I can finally to back to ‘normal’.

I dropped my bag down at the foot of my bed. With a sigh, I plonked myself down, shrugging off my suit jacket and undoing my tie. I neatly wrapped the tie around my knuckles, slipping it off and with a groan got back to my feet, placing the newly folded fabric in its rightful place on my dresser.

I hung up my jacket and began stripping off the remaining clothing. Sliding my pants off smoothly, I stepped out of the fabric pooled at my feet. My shirt followed, joining my pants on the floor. Then socks and underwear reunited with them. Scooping them into my arms, I tossed them into the hamper as I passed, heading for a shower, grabbing a towel as I entered the bathroom.

Placing the fresh towel on the counter with one hand and opened up the shower doors with the other. I turned on the shower, adjusting the taps to their usual temperature. I held an arm under the heavy spray, waiting for it to heat. I like my showers scorching; I was quite fond of the tingling sensations that came with it.

I went about my business briskly but thoroughly so not to end up with waterlogged skin. I hate waterlogged skin. It feels disgusting.

Out of the shower and trekking through the apartment in just a towel was a nightmare. It was freezing. Which was to be expected. It was fucking winter and I’d forgotten to put the heating on. My feet were beyond numb and I had goose bumps all over by the time I had reached my bedroom. Did I mention it was cold as balls?

Quickly dressing in warm sweats and a sweater, I was about to put on some socks, when I spotted my slippers nearby. I hopped over to them, stuffing my feet into them, lightning fast. I wiggled my toes around in the delightful, fluffy fabric that lined them.

Into the kitchen, I really couldn’t be arsed making anything that required effort. I remembered having a pot noodle left somewhere in the cupboards. I rarely felt like cooking and hardly ever got a take away. So I liked to stock up on simple tinned foods. Like beans and pot noodles. They are minimum effort and actually pretty tasty.

I grabbed the kettle off its stand, flipping the lid so I could fill it. Flicking the faucet on and I paid mind to how much water was spilling in. Filled appropriately, I closed the tap, tightly; dripping taps are the bane of my existence.

Once I settled it back onto its stand, I flipped the switch and the kettle began to rumble.

While the water boiled, I found the pot noodle and made a mental note I’d need to stock up soon. Not caring what flavour I had, I stared into space until the kettle clicked, signing its completion.

Pulling back the noodles film lid, I made sure to not pull the whole thing off. I picked up the kettle and steadily poured out the hot water, being careful not to spill any of the scalding liquid onto my skin.

Grabbing a fork, I mixed things up before folding the film lid back over. Moulding it to hug the rim of the plastic cup. I leaned back against the counter, occasionally giving my potted pasta a stir, waiting to eat.

Food eaten –well I say eaten but it was really just me pushing is around with my fork- I really didn’t feel like working. So I decided to ignore it for the night, trying to get some sleep instead.

Keyword, Trying.

I lay on my bed –spread eagle- staring up at the ceiling. Body exhausted, but mind going a mile a minute and refusing to settle. I just couldn’t sleep. ~~~~

Rolling onto my side, I tried to see if a change in position would help this lack of sleep. No luck.

I screwed my eyes tight, willing the sleep to come.

A chuckle bubbled up from my chest. The sound rumbling darkly in my throat.

_My life is a joke._

I had to laugh really.

My chuckle turned into a loud roar of full laughter. I was laughing so hard that tears gathered in my eyes.

_My life is a joke._

Eren hates me. Petra isn’t my friend. No one loves me.

_My life is a joke_.

Soon my eyes begun to sting and my mouth ached from the manic grin that stretched across it. I hadn’t laughed this hard in years.

_My life is a joke._

Laughter still shaking my frame, I shifted to sit up on my bed. The heel of my palm rubbed my eye. Ifolded over and clutched my stomach.

_My life is a joke._

The hysteria that had been building finally cracked the surface, peals of laughter transforming into sobs. They took control of my body and shook me more than the laughing ever did. I fell back against the bed, curling into foetal position. It was the only way I could feel safe. I knew what would usually follow. I fought against it. There was not a chance I was going to revert back to my old ways. Though, the temptation was eating away at me.

The itch in my fingers and crawling of my skin had me tightening the ball I was tucked up into.

When morning reared its face, I was neither thankful nor remorseful. I hadn’t slept a wink, so what should it matter? I had absolutely no willpower to leave my bed so I guess today was going to be spent there. But I had to tell Petra.

Reaching over for my phone on the bedside table, I unlocked it to reveal my home screen. A picture of me and Nanny, the day before she died. She was quite sickly, surrounded important looking medical equipment. Despite the location, both of us had bright smiles on our faces. The picture was at Nanny’s request; she wanted me to have something nice to remember her by. It was nice. Every time I saw it, I smiled.

Picture aside, I pulled up the messaging app and scrolled down until I found Petra’s name. A quick “I’m ill” message sent, I threw my phone somewhere on the bed and tightened the duvet around me.

A loud and rather persistent knocking ripped my eyes open not long after they shut. Which irritated the shit out of me. I contemplated not opening the door and just pretending I wasn’t home, to ignore it. But I knew that the person knocking was both notorious for persistence and loud as fuck. So with a groan, I threw my duvet and stormed my way to the door.

I threw open the door with that much force, I’m surprised I didn’t rip it from its hinges.

The open door revealed Hanji. An angry looking Hanji.

“What the fuck do _you_ want?” I seethed, disgust emphasising ‘you’.

“Don’t you even DARE use that tone with me, Levi Ackerman! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” She bellowed.

I cringed a little at the sheer volume of her voice, a little conscious about what my neighbours would think. But I didn’t let those show on my appearance as I glared at Hanji with all the frustration I could muster. “What? What the fuck am I doing?”

Hanji didn’t hesitate to fire back at me. “Cowering away, that’s what. Refusing to go into work because Eren saw you giving Petra ‘apology’ flowers.”

“First of all, fuck you! Secondly, I’m not cowering and thirdly for your fucking information they _were_ apology flowers. I felt guilty for snapping at her. Is that fucking alright?!” My breathing became ragged and I went a little light headed. Probably due to the speed my blood was pumping. “Why the fuck was Eren even there yesterday?”

Hanji faltered a moment before biting back “how should I know?”

“Hanji…” I warned, she was keeping something from me.

“Alright!” She barked. “Just… stop jumping down my throat, will you?!”

I grunted, not saying anything as I stared her down, blood slowing in my veins.

She took that as a sign to continue. “I told Eren you still had his phone…”

Hearing that, my eyes narrowed as the rage that had dissipated came flooding back. It overwhelmed my mind, my body, my actions. “You… Y-You ruined EVERYTHING!” I screamed. Then the sharp clap of skin on skin and a stinging burn in my palm.

I had slapped Hanji.

My eyes widened in realisation and I regretted it immediately. As insufferable as Hanji could be and no matter what she had done to piss me off, I had never raised my hand or struck Hanji. Not once. The fact I had now had me sick to my stomach. Her eyes watered but she stood her ground at my door.

I half expected her to hit me back. But she didn’t. What she did do, however, caught me by surprise.

Taking half a step forward, Hanji pulled me into her arms and into a tight hug.

I fought against it at first, fear knotting tight in my gut, fear that she was going to get even. But once I realised she wasn’t, my arms wrapped around her and I gripped her just as tightly.

“H-Hanji, I-I’m so… I’m so s-sorry. I d-didn’t mean it.” I sobbed onto her shoulder. The emotions from years of holding back finally breaking free. In the back of my mind, I felt a little self-conscious, if my neighbours were to see me in such a state. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good to finally let it go.

“Shhh…” She breathed against my ear, arms still tight around me. “Levi… Levi, it’s okay. I deserved it.” Her voice soft, soothing.

We stayed like that for a couple of moments before Hanji pulled back slightly and spoke up again.

“Now, are you going to invite me inside and we actually talk through everything in a civilised manner or am I going to have to beat the information out of you.” Hanji joked.

My horrified face had her chuckling again and assuring me she was okay as she pulled me into the living room where she flopped onto the sofa.

“Counselling with Levi: take two.” She announced.

“Hanji…” I warned, a warning she didn’t take seriously at all. Instead she laughed again.

I sighed, although it was good to see Hanji was back to her ‘normal’ self. I seated myself beside her. And as much as I didn’t want to have a heart to heart with Hanji –or anyone for that matter- I knew better than to pass up yet _another_ opportunity to lighten this heavy burden weighing in my chest.

“Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologise massively! Me and Nikki will be faster next time!  
> Also, MASSIVE thank you to [Nikki](http://otakunikkichan.tumblr.com/) you're too good to me!  
> I'll get on writing the next chapter right now! I'm sorry it was so short! ;-;  
> BUT,  
> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


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